The Real World's Danny Roberts on PTSD, Mhrooms, Therapy, Realy TV</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="The Real World's Danny Roberts on PTSD, Mhrooms, Therapy, Realy TV" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="One of TV's few out gay men at the time, and wh a ary boyiend whose face had to be blurred bee of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Danny Roberts was at the center of all on 'The Real World.'" /><meta name="keywords" ntent /><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse" /><meta name="theme-lor" ntent="#000000" /><lk href="/_assets/sign-tokens/quire/static/imag/" rel="in" /><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="Esquire" /><meta name="fb:app_id" ntent="171874009543995" property="fb:app_id" /><meta name="article:publisher" ntent=" property="article:publisher" /><meta name="fb:pag" ntent="84169421673" property="fb:pag" /><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@Esquire" /><meta name="google-se-verifitn" ntent="1vf5i9wM7chlCFc_0XI_e-oCfDf4sEvp32sTGKokQ" /><meta property="og:tle" ntent="An Hont Conversatn wh Danny Roberts " /><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="Ahead of this season of 'Real World Homeg,' the MTV-alum opens up about Complex PTSD, mhrooms, and the Deep South." /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/quire/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="TV" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-05-10T11:00:26Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2022-05-10T11:00:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="The Real World: Homeg leapt ahead time for s third eratn, jumpg over classic seasons like San Francis, Boston, and Miami and landg New Orleans. 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/></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css g4r5va">{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2rem;le-height:1.25;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.37499rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-g4r5va exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>An Hont Conversatn wh Danny Roberts<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 2qf7xf">{lor:#515150;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.0625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.3;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#000000;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-2qf7xf exadjwu8"><p>Ahead of this season of <em>Real World</em> <em>Homeg</em>, the MTV-alum opens up about Complex PTSD, mhrooms, and the Deep South.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 18k4ks7">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}} span{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0rem;text-transform:palize;}@media(max-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){ 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width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/9774/dave-holm/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Dave Holm</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1bcsdhu">{display:le-block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;marg-left:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><time class="css-1bcsdhu exadjwu6">Published: May 10, 2022</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css 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uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img fetchPrry="high" alt="the real world homeg new orleans danny roberts the real world homeg new orleans streamg on paramount photodaymon gardnerparamount©mtv entertament 2022, all rights rerved" tle="the real world homeg new orleans danny roberts the real world homeg new orleans streamg on paramount photodaymon gardnerparamount©mtv entertament 2022, all rights rerved" width="2000" height="3000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1mcfn5x">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Daymon Gardner</span></figptn></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css am5pt0">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;}{float:left;text-transform:upperse;font-weight:bold;marg-right:0.9375rem;marg-bottom:-0.625rem;marg-top:0;}{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-size:6.25rem;font-weight:normal;le-height:0.75;marg-right:0;paddg:0.6rem 0.75rem 0 0;}@-moz-document url-prefix(){{marg-top:0.625rem;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-right:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{le-height:0.75;}} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="1" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0"><em>The Real World: Homeg</em> leapt ahead time for s third eratn, jumpg over classic seasons like San Francis, Boston, and Miami and landg New Orleans. Unlike much of what happens New Orleans, this was a good cisn. From 2000, the nth season of <em>The Real World</em> has one of the show’s all-time great sts: wise Kelley, wise-ass Melissa, David wh the “Come On Be My Baby Tonight” song, a diverse and pellg group of young people the last season before st-mat started arrivg to the <em>Real World</em> hoe through the jacuzzi. </p><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="2" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">At the center of , there was Danny Roberts. One of very few out gay men on televisn at the time, and wh a ary boyiend whose face had to be blurred so he wouldn’t lose his job unr <style data-emotn="css umdwtv">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:background 0.4s;transn:background 0.4s;background:lear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff 50%, #d5dbe3 50%, #d5dbe3);-webk-background-size:100% 200%;background-size:100% 200%;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-posn:100% 100%;background-posn:100% 100%;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Don’t Ask Don’t Tell" class="body-lk css-umdwtv et3p2gv0">Don’t Ask Don’t Tell</a>, Danny was at the center of some major cultural nversatns at an age when he was still figurg life out. He took a big step back om public life after the show, but jt before the premiere of this season of <em>Homeg</em>, <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="which is now airg" data-vars-ga-product-id="32535a37-a9ae-44c9-b0b9-6ef2dc2db383" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="fe0b94-162b-4d45-b9ba-26af392fda28" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="" class="body-lk product-lks css-umdwtv ebsw2pb0">which is now airg</a>, we ught up wh him to talk MTV fame, Complex PTSD, mhrooms, and the Deep South. The nversatn has been eded for length and clary. </p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="3" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Esquire: So you've been through this once before. How did happen this time around?</strong></p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Danny Roberts:</strong> The nversatns started actually early of last year. Of urse, my first reactn was <em>I don't thk so.</em> Then I had some psilocyb and then I thought about and then I started talkg to Kelley and Melissa. We had to e to some terms amongst ourselv to feel fortable and safe before we agreed to do —one of the tch was the whole st had to agree to or was a no go. I am still shocked everyone agreed to .</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="6" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1643r8a">{borr:none;marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;paddg:0rem;}</style><asi class="css-1643r8a e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css l3w2xc">{display:le-block;font-weight:normal;marg:0rem;borr-top:0.25rem solid #15263D;paddg-right:1.1rem;paddg-top:0.4375rem;text-transform:lowerse;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;}</style><h6 class="css-l3w2xc e6pr2lz3"><style data-emotn="css 156fvc1">{borr-bottom:0.4375rem solid #FF3A30;borr-right:0.4375rem solid transparent;ntent:'';display:le-block;height:0;marg-right:0.5rem;width:0;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-156fvc1 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 79zw4t">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:2rem;paddg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.9375rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{le-height:1.4;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;}</style><li class="css-79zw4t e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/entertament/tv/a39806753/josh-charl-terview-2022/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="An Hont Conversatn Wh Josh Charl" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="d" tle="An Hont Conversatn Wh Josh Charl" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">An Hont Conversatn Wh Josh Charl</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Okay, we’ll be g back to psilocyb. But who were you most surprised signed on?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Hontly, I didn’t thk Kelley would have ever done this. I thk she did this as a gift to , to allow to happen. We hadn't been touch wh each other, most of , twenty-pl years. In my md, Jamie was some rpectable human beg the days, off beg Mr. Bsman. I never expected him to not only be there but actually happily be there. </p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>What were you expectg g ? </strong></p><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I purposely cid not to watch the old season. I jt wanted to go wh a blank slate, to let the universe let unfold. </p><p data-no-id="11" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I did have a goal when I went. I've been on a b of a spirual ri for the past few years, and relign has been a major part of my personal story. That's been sort of a theme my life, my fay, where I grew up Geia. The place is still very much the same today. It’s Marjorie Taylor Greene untry. That is my district. </p><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>J</strong>. </p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">You know, the olr I get, the more that I am jt hyper-aware of what those belief systems lead to, and how they impact people and how they really impacted my life. </p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I wanted to go back and revis that topic, bee really got swept unr the g the first n. Two roommat that story were extremely relig, had very negative beliefs towards anyone gay and they were pretty vol about and actually jt kd of got away wh that. I had a goal of really revisg that topic this. </p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om youTube. 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What was that level of regnn like?</strong></p><p data-no-id="17" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Well, you remember, I met you at The Gap the first time. </p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Is that te? </strong></p><p data-no-id="19" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">We were at a Gap store openg party, loadg upon ee sh. Those were crazy, crazy tim.</p><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Oh wow, yeah. The big flagship one. </strong></p><p data-no-id="21" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's really hard for people to image now, bee young people are like, "What is MTV? What is <em>The Real World</em>?" It was pop culture at that time. It was a hugely popular show. You know, everybody om, now I realize, om like twelve and up was watchg . </p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was never super fortable wh . I don't do well as the center of attentn. You know my ex. We were together for like eight years after we did that show. He was still the ary, so we had to live a very bizarre unrground life. I didn't have the sense or the wisdom to know this then, but that's a very unhealthy, unnatural way to live, to be so secretive. In an ironic way, I was forced back to the closet, even though I was as open and out as you n technilly be. That was super unhealthy, and that was a big part of my twenti. </p><p data-no-id="23" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Where did you end up personally after that show? Where did you live?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">For a uple of years, we were still North Carola, Deep South, at a time when was very not okay to be out. That was a big part of what was ickg trmatizg to me. It was not jt that I was this very secretive relatnship, where his existence was threatened, but I felt nstant fear and beg threatened by beg as out as you n be but still livg the Deep South. That was very not okay for me.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="25" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><style data-emotn="css ow0dpz">{borr:0.3125rem solid #FF3A30;borr-radi:100%;ntent:'';display:block;height:2.1875rem;left:50%;marg:-0.99rem to 0 -1.33rem;posn:absolute;width:2.1875rem;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css la9czl">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}{ntent:'＂';display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:3.4375rem;le-height:0.72;font-style:alic;paddg:0.3125rem 0.875rem 0 0;}</style><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">I was forced back to the closet, even though I was as open and out as you n technilly be. </blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Eventually, we moved to Seattle to be a more progrsive place and a place where I thought I uld jt live a ltle b more eely. </p><p data-no-id="27" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>How did you blow off steam when you were North Carola?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="28" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">That's the problem, I didn't. The steam built up me. I did not have healthy outlets. I lerally beme a recle my hoe for a uple of years. I jt didn't feel safe or okay to be out while we lived there. Not that time. This is a year or two after Matthew Shepard. Today would be a different story, but not at that time. </p><p data-no-id="29" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Would , though? </strong> </p><p data-no-id="30" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Yeah, not outsi of big ci, 's still not. I don't thk we should gloss over that fact eher. We n pretend 's jt hunky dory for everybody everywhere, but 's fely still not. </p><p data-no-id="31" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>You know, what I notice about the world now is the world for queer people, is many ways, beg shaped by the people their thirti who grew up havg you to look at and look up to. You didn't have anyone, I didn't have anyone really. </strong> </p><p data-no-id="32" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I know. We were talkg earlier how I didn't grow up wh ble. There was no such thg as the Inter or smartphon. I had no ntext of what gay was. It was somethg very abstract to me. I did have a gay uncle. I jt didn't realize at the time. I jt thought he had a weird roommate. I didn't nnect the dots until I was like 30. What the hell? He was the black sheep that no one talked about. He did throw a good party. <br /></p><p data-no-id="33" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Well, sure. Did you hear om young viewers when your season was airg? It would have to be, like, by mail or person on the street back then.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Yeah, you have to remember, at this time, there was not really a way to reach me. We had email but that was private. I did actually create sort of ... I don't even know what you would ll now, bee 's so 1990s Inter but a gay muny se lled Country to Concrete. There weren't apps to meet gay people. I created this muny se, where my name and my prence was sort of the anchor, but the real tentn was to provi a msage board where gays uld talk to each other, bee there jt wasn't a lot of outlet for that, that was safe. </p><p data-no-id="35" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>You know, the level of fame that you get om a show on TV is a unique one, bee there is a segment of the populatn that is all watchg , and then outsi of that, nobody is. You're like huge to people wh a certa age group, and then to someone six months out of that, they don’t know you at all.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="36" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I work tech, and I work wh a lot of twenty-somethgs. They have absolutely no ia what I'm dog, why I've been away on PTO. You know, om about 32 on, absolutely, they do know. Anybody below that, no clue. But actually the age I thk skews younger than I ed to believe did, and I thk there were a lot of kids at the time, who were like 12 or 13 watchg . I never realized how many really young kids were watchg at the time. </p><p data-no-id="37" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I thk ’s most meangful to those youngt on. I thk that was the first generatn that en masse uld image a world beg out and livg an out life. Even if was still a fantasy, they uld start to image . I thk was sort of that age group for the first time that that really started beg the norm. Whatever that norm is now. I'm not que sure what any norm is anymore. </p><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="38" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="the real world rnn tour" tle="The Real World Rnn Tour" loadg="lazy" width="3264" height="2414" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 8h7i7x">{width:0;m-width:100%;paddg-top:0.625rem;letter-spacg:0.02rem;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><div class="css-8h7i7x e1xqj1sx1">From The Real World Rnn Tour: Dan Renzi, Melissa Howard, Jamie Murray, Matt Smyth, Kelley Limp, Jon Brennan, Col Mortensen, David Burns, Danny Roberts, Julie Stoffer and Puck Raey; 2001. </div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">J. Vpa</span><style data-emotn="css 1vpjmnm">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg:0 0.3rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="39" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Me eher.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="40" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I thk there's somethg super tertg about gog back, and part of what spired me to do is that a lot of strange ways, we're movg back to the past. We’re channelg that era aga, and every day I open the newspaper now and you hear gays beg referred to as groomers and fluffers, all the 1990s terms. It's almost surreal that we're gog back there, but we absolutely are. Maybe we all got a ltle too fy, too quickly. </p><p data-no-id="41" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>How do you acunt for backslidg this way?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I mean, if you want to get ep, I thk what's gog on this untry and the wtern world, general, is that the enomi of the wtern world have stopped functng healthy ways, s ago, and people have been beg angrier and angrier and angrier about . It's been wily ignored. People are lookg for spegoats. </p><p data-no-id="43" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's a very repetive story. That's the really prsg part, that 's all very predictable. Look who’s beg blamed for problems. It is the same groups that always get blamed. I don't thk 's safe or okay to dismiss all as jt angry, bter, hateful people eher. I thk there's a lot of plex sh gog on there and some of shouldn't be so easily dismissed ... Don't get me on my soapbox, Dave. </p><p data-no-id="44" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Well, let's get back to MTV fame then. There's nobody who teach you what is or how to al wh . There's no class to take.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="45" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">No ntext. I dare you to look for a therapist who specializ people who are fucked up om realy TV and overexposure. </p><p data-no-id="46" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>I bet there's one now. </strong></p><p data-no-id="47" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">They love to take the s bee 's a fascatg se study for them, but they have absolutely no ia how to manage . We have gotten to a pot where there is enough realy TV that exists, and there's enough data out there now, there's very clear them gog on. </p><p data-no-id="48" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Was there a moment that you remember thkg like, <em>This is not healthy</em>?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="49" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I'd say about 10 years ago at the nadir of my life, ep the trough, I had ser regrets for dog any of . You know, me and my ex had fally spl. I went through a uple of seri of ser pathologil stalkers, one who was a policeman, that really rocked my sense of safety. I had to stop kiddg myself that I had the upper hand, that I accepted feat and huy. It was the first time I realized I really need to have someone help me through some of this sh. What I now have the language to scribe, but at the time, I had no unrstandg of what I was gog through. But you start to realize is not healthy to be credibly anx all the time, 's not healthy to fear beg public, 's not normal. You know? All the thgs that I had bee numb to and thought were jt how we all operate. </p><p data-no-id="50" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>So what pelled you to do the show aga?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="51" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“What the fuck were you thkg?” </p><p data-no-id="52" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Y. Exactly.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="53" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I'll be totally hont wh you and I hope you will publish this. So probably three years before, I had been very lucky to e across a therapist who specializ Complex PTSD, and psilocyb as treatment. That was life-changg for me. </p><p data-no-id="54" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It gave me both the tools to wipe the tracks clear and have a whole new empathetic outlook aga. It also gave me the amework to unrstand what happened and why, any human would naturally react the way I did. Havg those tools and that amework changed my life. Then the panmic happened and I left New York and I left the rat race and I jt went and I spent almost two years the woods a lot of silent medatn time and was life-changg. I don't thk I would have agreed to this had that experience not happened. I wasn't mentally prepared for or psychilly prepared for .<br /></p><p data-no-id="55" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I highly remend that everyone abandon their life and live the woods for a year or two. It's good for you. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="56" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">I highly remend that everyone abandon their life and live the woods for a year or two. </blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="57" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>So on the other si of all this, lookg back now, 2022, are you glad you did ?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="58" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's hard for me to say about that first time. I thk there's a level of moral obligatn when adults throw children on televisn and moize [them]. Let's be real, those are fuckg children. Your early twenti, you're children. </p><p data-no-id="59" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">There's a moral rponsibily there that was not taken by any adults around . I would never put the young versn of myself through that aga. That was not okay. I like to thk today that kids who are thrown TV suatns, they're taken better re of. I thk there is a higher gree of mental health re general today, but particularly, for people who have been on the shows, they get the rourc they need. I like to thk that. I don't know if 's te, but I would never put the young versn of myself through that aga. </p><p data-no-id="60" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The send time, I do thk was a gift and I am so credibly thankful that we all took the risk we did and put ourselv to the suatn. I thk the chanc were probably 99% agast happeng, and somehow did. It's a b of a miracle that did.</p><style data-emotn="css 2ok9l4">{marg-top:1.875rem;borr-top:th solid #595959;}</style><div data-jam-id="thor-b" class="css-2ok9l4 e13rjwo40"><style data-emotn="css f0b5z8">{display:grid;grid-template-lumns:to 1;grid-lumn-gap:0.625rem;paddg-top:1.25rem;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;clear:both;}</style><div class="css-f0b5z8 e19xk9rq8"><style data-emotn="css irehmq">{borr-radi:50%;height:60px;width:60px;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:40px;height:40px;}}</style><span class="css-irehmq e19xk9rq1"><style data-emotn="css o0wq4v">{width:100%;height:100%;borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Dave Holm" tle="Headshot of Dave Holm" width="100%" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" class="css-o0wq4v e19xk9rq3" /></span><div><style data-emotn="css 3sqxrq">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;grid-gap:4px;-webk-align-ems:basele;-webk-box-align:basele;-ms-flex-align:basele;align-ems:basele;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;}</style><div class="css-3sqxrq e19xk9rq7"><span class="css-0 e19xk9rq5"><style data-emotn="css 1yunoig">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1kgdfad">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;text-transform:upperse;lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/9774/dave-holm/" class="e1c1bym13 css-1kgdfad e1c1bym14"><span>Dave Holm</span></a></span></div><style data-emotn="css pqlu">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><div class="css-pqlu e19xk9rq6">Edor-at-Large</div><style data-emotn="css 8u8x58">{display:-webk-box;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.4;overflow:hidn;paddg-top:0.3125rem;-webk-box-orient:vertil;-webk-le-clamp:5;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{-webk-le-clamp:10;}}>*{display:le;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:CharterItalic,Geia,Tim,Serif;} p{marg:0rem;} p a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;} p a:hover{text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-8u8x58 e19xk9rq4"><p>Dave Holm is Esquire's L.A.-based edor-at-large. His first book, "Party of One," is out now. </p></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div><div class="css-79elbk eg8z2o90"><div class="css-79elbk e1tp40ll1"><div data-anchor-id="P0-0" class="css-0 e1tp40ll0"></div></div><style data-emotn="css hi6ssp">{display:block;grid-area:article_body;grid-lumn:article_body-start/article_body-end;grid-row:to;jtify-self:center;marg:1.25rem 0 0;}@media prt{{display:none;}}@media(max-width: 30rem){{width:100%;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{m-height:28rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:488px;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:612px;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{max-width:40.25rem;}}</style><div class="css-hi6ssp eg8z2o92"></div></div></div></div><div></div><style data-emotn="css 6b9rfj">{display:block;-webk-flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-ms-flex-preferred-size:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);flex-basis:lc((100vw - 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*EN.BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* DANNY GAY REAL WORLD

The Real World's Danny Roberts on PTSD, Mhrooms, Therapy, Realy TV</tle><meta name="tle" ntent="The Real World's Danny Roberts on PTSD, Mhrooms, Therapy, Realy TV" /><meta name="scriptn" ntent="One of TV's few out gay men at the time, and wh a ary boyiend whose face had to be blurred bee of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, Danny Roberts was at the center of all on 'The Real World.'" /><meta name="keywords" ntent /><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse" /><meta name="theme-lor" ntent="#000000" /><lk href="/_assets/sign-tokens/quire/static/imag/" rel="in" /><meta property="og:se_name" ntent="Esquire" /><meta name="fb:app_id" ntent="171874009543995" property="fb:app_id" /><meta name="article:publisher" ntent=" property="article:publisher" /><meta name="fb:pag" ntent="84169421673" property="fb:pag" /><meta name="twter:se" ntent="@Esquire" /><meta name="google-se-verifitn" ntent="1vf5i9wM7chlCFc_0XI_e-oCfDf4sEvp32sTGKokQ" /><meta property="og:tle" ntent="An Hont Conversatn wh Danny Roberts " /><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="Ahead of this season of 'Real World Homeg,' the MTV-alum opens up about Complex PTSD, mhrooms, and the Deep South." /><meta name="robots" ntent="max-image-preview:large,max-snippet:-1,max-vio-preview:30" /><lk rel="apple-touch-in" href="/_assets/sign-tokens/quire/static/imag/" /><meta property="og:image" ntent="" /><meta property="og:image:width" ntent="1200" /><meta property="og:image:height" ntent="600" /><meta name="thumbnail" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent="" /><meta name="" ntent=" /><meta name="twter:image" ntent="" /><meta ntent=" property="og:url" /><meta name="to-publish" ntent="timely" /><meta property="og:type" ntent="article" /><meta name="twter:rd" ntent="summary_large_image" /><meta name="article:opn" property="article:opn" /><meta ntent="TV" property="article:sectn" /><meta ntent="2022-05-10T11:00:26Z" property="article:modified_time" /><meta ntent="2022-05-10T11:00:00Z" property="article:published_time" /><meta name="sailth.excerpt" ntent="The Real World: Homeg leapt ahead time for s third eratn, jumpg over classic seasons like San Francis, Boston, and Miami and landg New Orleans. 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data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Entertament" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">Entertament</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="1" /></li><li emProp="emListElement" emSpe emType=" class="css-zxq36b e9l0kn01"><a emProp="em" href="/entertament/tv/" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="TV" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">TV</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="2" /></li><style data-emotn="css huh8md">{display:none;}{paddg:0.25rem;ntent:">";}</style><li emProp="emListElement" emSpe emType=" class="css-huh8md e9l0kn01"><a emProp="em" href="/entertament/tv/a39946335/danny-roberts-real-world-homeg-terview/" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Breadcmbs" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="An Hont Conversatn wh Danny Roberts" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">An Hont Conversatn wh Danny Roberts</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="3" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css g4r5va">{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2rem;le-height:1.25;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.125rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.37499rem;le-height:1.1;}}</style><h1 class="css-g4r5va exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>An Hont Conversatn wh Danny Roberts<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css 2qf7xf">{lor:#515150;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.0625rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:1.3125rem;le-height:1.3;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:#000000;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-2qf7xf exadjwu8"><p>Ahead of this season of <em>Real World</em> <em>Homeg</em>, the MTV-alum opens up about Complex PTSD, mhrooms, and the Deep South.</p></div><style data-emotn="css 18k4ks7">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}} span{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0rem;text-transform:palize;}@media(max-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){ span{le-height:2rem;font-size:0.875rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){ 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width="40" height="40" dg="async" fetchPrry="high" class=" css-1sa04t ehvvd9m0" />By <style data-emotn="css 7l5upj">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/9774/dave-holm/" class="css-7l5upj e1c1bym14">Dave Holm</a></span><style data-emotn="css 1bcsdhu">{display:le-block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;marg-left:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><time class="css-1bcsdhu exadjwu6">Published: May 10, 2022</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css 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0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="0" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img fetchPrry="high" alt="the real world homeg new orleans danny roberts the real world homeg new orleans streamg on paramount photodaymon gardnerparamount©mtv entertament 2022, all rights rerved" tle="the real world homeg new orleans danny roberts the real world homeg new orleans streamg on paramount photodaymon gardnerparamount©mtv entertament 2022, all rights rerved" width="2000" height="3000" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1mcfn5x">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Daymon Gardner</span></figptn></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css am5pt0">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;}{float:left;text-transform:upperse;font-weight:bold;marg-right:0.9375rem;marg-bottom:-0.625rem;marg-top:0;}{font-fay:Glanz,Glanz-fallback,Tim,Serif;font-size:6.25rem;font-weight:normal;le-height:0.75;marg-right:0;paddg:0.6rem 0.75rem 0 0;}@-moz-document url-prefix(){{marg-top:0.625rem;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-right:0.3125rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{le-height:0.75;}} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="1" class="body-dropp css-am5pt0 et3p2gv0"><em>The Real World: Homeg</em> leapt ahead time for s third eratn, jumpg over classic seasons like San Francis, Boston, and Miami and landg New Orleans. Unlike much of what happens New Orleans, this was a good cisn. From 2000, the nth season of <em>The Real World</em> has one of the show’s all-time great sts: wise Kelley, wise-ass Melissa, David wh the “Come On Be My Baby Tonight” song, a diverse and pellg group of young people the last season before st-mat started arrivg to the <em>Real World</em> hoe through the jacuzzi. </p><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="2" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">At the center of , there was Danny Roberts. One of very few out gay men on televisn at the time, and wh a ary boyiend whose face had to be blurred so he wouldn’t lose his job unr <style data-emotn="css umdwtv">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:background 0.4s;transn:background 0.4s;background:lear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff 50%, #d5dbe3 50%, #d5dbe3);-webk-background-size:100% 200%;background-size:100% 200%;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-posn:100% 100%;background-posn:100% 100%;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Don’t Ask Don’t Tell" class="body-lk css-umdwtv et3p2gv0">Don’t Ask Don’t Tell</a>, Danny was at the center of some major cultural nversatns at an age when he was still figurg life out. He took a big step back om public life after the show, but jt before the premiere of this season of <em>Homeg</em>, <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="which is now airg" data-vars-ga-product-id="32535a37-a9ae-44c9-b0b9-6ef2dc2db383" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{}" data-vars-ga-product-brand="" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="fe0b94-162b-4d45-b9ba-26af392fda28" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="" class="body-lk product-lks css-umdwtv ebsw2pb0">which is now airg</a>, we ught up wh him to talk MTV fame, Complex PTSD, mhrooms, and the Deep South. The nversatn has been eded for length and clary. </p><style data-emotn="css 18pb4rg">{borr:0;borr-bottom:th solid black;marg:1.875rem 0;clear:both;}</style><hr data-no-id="3" class="css-18pb4rg et3p2gv0" /><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Esquire: So you've been through this once before. How did happen this time around?</strong></p><p data-no-id="5" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Danny Roberts:</strong> The nversatns started actually early of last year. Of urse, my first reactn was <em>I don't thk so.</em> Then I had some psilocyb and then I thought about and then I started talkg to Kelley and Melissa. We had to e to some terms amongst ourselv to feel fortable and safe before we agreed to do —one of the tch was the whole st had to agree to or was a no go. I am still shocked everyone agreed to .</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="6" data-embed="edorial-lk" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1643r8a">{borr:none;marg-top:1.875rem;marg-bottom:1.875rem;paddg:0rem;}</style><asi class="css-1643r8a e6pr2lz5"><style data-emotn="css l3w2xc">{display:le-block;font-weight:normal;marg:0rem;borr-top:0.25rem solid #15263D;paddg-right:1.1rem;paddg-top:0.4375rem;text-transform:lowerse;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;}</style><h6 class="css-l3w2xc e6pr2lz3"><style data-emotn="css 156fvc1">{borr-bottom:0.4375rem solid #FF3A30;borr-right:0.4375rem solid transparent;ntent:'';display:le-block;height:0;marg-right:0.5rem;width:0;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-156fvc1 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 8lle59">{max-width:lc(100% - 120px - .625rem);}</style><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">Related Story</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css c4s2gi">{paddg:0rem;marg:0rem;list-style:none;}</style><ul class="css-c4s2gi e6pr2lz4"><style data-emotn="css 79zw4t">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:2rem;paddg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.9375rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{le-height:1.4;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#595959;}</style><li class="css-79zw4t e6pr2lz2"><style data-emotn="css 1bn7a5e">{-webk-text-ratn:none;text-ratn:none;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-directn:row;-ms-flex-directn:row;flex-directn:row;-webk-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webk-jtify-ntent:flex-start;jtify-ntent:flex-start;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><a href="/entertament/tv/a39806753/josh-charl-terview-2022/" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="An Hont Conversatn Wh Josh Charl" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Edorial Lks" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="css-1bn7a5e e1c1bym14"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css 1l0u1">{marg-right:0.625rem;height:to;}</style><img src="" alt="d" tle="An Hont Conversatn Wh Josh Charl" width="120" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" image-align="left" class="css-1l0u1 e6pr2lz0" /><span class="css-8lle59 e6pr2lz1">An Hont Conversatn Wh Josh Charl</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></a></li></ul></asi></div><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Okay, we’ll be g back to psilocyb. But who were you most surprised signed on?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Hontly, I didn’t thk Kelley would have ever done this. I thk she did this as a gift to , to allow to happen. We hadn't been touch wh each other, most of , twenty-pl years. In my md, Jamie was some rpectable human beg the days, off beg Mr. Bsman. I never expected him to not only be there but actually happily be there. </p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>What were you expectg g ? </strong></p><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I purposely cid not to watch the old season. I jt wanted to go wh a blank slate, to let the universe let unfold. </p><p data-no-id="11" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I did have a goal when I went. I've been on a b of a spirual ri for the past few years, and relign has been a major part of my personal story. That's been sort of a theme my life, my fay, where I grew up Geia. The place is still very much the same today. It’s Marjorie Taylor Greene untry. That is my district. </p><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>J</strong>. </p><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">You know, the olr I get, the more that I am jt hyper-aware of what those belief systems lead to, and how they impact people and how they really impacted my life. </p><p data-no-id="14" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I wanted to go back and revis that topic, bee really got swept unr the g the first n. Two roommat that story were extremely relig, had very negative beliefs towards anyone gay and they were pretty vol about and actually jt kd of got away wh that. I had a goal of really revisg that topic this. </p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om youTube. 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What was that level of regnn like?</strong></p><p data-no-id="17" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Well, you remember, I met you at The Gap the first time. </p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Is that te? </strong></p><p data-no-id="19" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">We were at a Gap store openg party, loadg upon ee sh. Those were crazy, crazy tim.</p><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Oh wow, yeah. The big flagship one. </strong></p><p data-no-id="21" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's really hard for people to image now, bee young people are like, "What is MTV? What is <em>The Real World</em>?" It was pop culture at that time. It was a hugely popular show. You know, everybody om, now I realize, om like twelve and up was watchg . </p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I was never super fortable wh . I don't do well as the center of attentn. You know my ex. We were together for like eight years after we did that show. He was still the ary, so we had to live a very bizarre unrground life. I didn't have the sense or the wisdom to know this then, but that's a very unhealthy, unnatural way to live, to be so secretive. In an ironic way, I was forced back to the closet, even though I was as open and out as you n technilly be. That was super unhealthy, and that was a big part of my twenti. </p><p data-no-id="23" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Where did you end up personally after that show? Where did you live?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="24" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">For a uple of years, we were still North Carola, Deep South, at a time when was very not okay to be out. That was a big part of what was ickg trmatizg to me. It was not jt that I was this very secretive relatnship, where his existence was threatened, but I felt nstant fear and beg threatened by beg as out as you n be but still livg the Deep South. That was very not okay for me.</p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="25" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><style data-emotn="css 1eiql25">{text-align:center;marg:0rem;paddg-top:0.9375rem;paddg-bottom:0.9375rem;}</style><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><style data-emotn="css ow0dpz">{borr:0.3125rem solid #FF3A30;borr-radi:100%;ntent:'';display:block;height:2.1875rem;left:50%;marg:-0.99rem to 0 -1.33rem;posn:absolute;width:2.1875rem;}</style><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><style data-emotn="css la9czl">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:1.625rem;le-height:1.2;marg:0rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.75rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1.2;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}{ntent:'＂';display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:3.4375rem;le-height:0.72;font-style:alic;paddg:0.3125rem 0.875rem 0 0;}</style><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">I was forced back to the closet, even though I was as open and out as you n technilly be. </blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Eventually, we moved to Seattle to be a more progrsive place and a place where I thought I uld jt live a ltle b more eely. </p><p data-no-id="27" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>How did you blow off steam when you were North Carola?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="28" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">That's the problem, I didn't. The steam built up me. I did not have healthy outlets. I lerally beme a recle my hoe for a uple of years. I jt didn't feel safe or okay to be out while we lived there. Not that time. This is a year or two after Matthew Shepard. Today would be a different story, but not at that time. </p><p data-no-id="29" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Would , though? </strong> </p><p data-no-id="30" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Yeah, not outsi of big ci, 's still not. I don't thk we should gloss over that fact eher. We n pretend 's jt hunky dory for everybody everywhere, but 's fely still not. </p><p data-no-id="31" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>You know, what I notice about the world now is the world for queer people, is many ways, beg shaped by the people their thirti who grew up havg you to look at and look up to. You didn't have anyone, I didn't have anyone really. </strong> </p><p data-no-id="32" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I know. We were talkg earlier how I didn't grow up wh ble. There was no such thg as the Inter or smartphon. I had no ntext of what gay was. It was somethg very abstract to me. I did have a gay uncle. I jt didn't realize at the time. I jt thought he had a weird roommate. I didn't nnect the dots until I was like 30. What the hell? He was the black sheep that no one talked about. He did throw a good party. <br /></p><p data-no-id="33" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Well, sure. Did you hear om young viewers when your season was airg? It would have to be, like, by mail or person on the street back then.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Yeah, you have to remember, at this time, there was not really a way to reach me. We had email but that was private. I did actually create sort of ... I don't even know what you would ll now, bee 's so 1990s Inter but a gay muny se lled Country to Concrete. There weren't apps to meet gay people. I created this muny se, where my name and my prence was sort of the anchor, but the real tentn was to provi a msage board where gays uld talk to each other, bee there jt wasn't a lot of outlet for that, that was safe. </p><p data-no-id="35" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>You know, the level of fame that you get om a show on TV is a unique one, bee there is a segment of the populatn that is all watchg , and then outsi of that, nobody is. You're like huge to people wh a certa age group, and then to someone six months out of that, they don’t know you at all.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="36" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I work tech, and I work wh a lot of twenty-somethgs. They have absolutely no ia what I'm dog, why I've been away on PTO. You know, om about 32 on, absolutely, they do know. Anybody below that, no clue. But actually the age I thk skews younger than I ed to believe did, and I thk there were a lot of kids at the time, who were like 12 or 13 watchg . I never realized how many really young kids were watchg at the time. </p><p data-no-id="37" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I thk ’s most meangful to those youngt on. I thk that was the first generatn that en masse uld image a world beg out and livg an out life. Even if was still a fantasy, they uld start to image . I thk was sort of that age group for the first time that that really started beg the norm. Whatever that norm is now. I'm not que sure what any norm is anymore. </p><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" data-no-id="38" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="the real world rnn tour" tle="The Real World Rnn Tour" loadg="lazy" width="3264" height="2414" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 8h7i7x">{width:0;m-width:100%;paddg-top:0.625rem;letter-spacg:0.02rem;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.875rem;le-height:1.3;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><div class="css-8h7i7x e1xqj1sx1">From The Real World Rnn Tour: Dan Renzi, Melissa Howard, Jamie Murray, Matt Smyth, Kelley Limp, Jon Brennan, Col Mortensen, David Burns, Danny Roberts, Julie Stoffer and Puck Raey; 2001. </div><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">J. Vpa</span><style data-emotn="css 1vpjmnm">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg:0 0.3rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1vpjmnm e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div></div><p data-no-id="39" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Me eher.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="40" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I thk there's somethg super tertg about gog back, and part of what spired me to do is that a lot of strange ways, we're movg back to the past. We’re channelg that era aga, and every day I open the newspaper now and you hear gays beg referred to as groomers and fluffers, all the 1990s terms. It's almost surreal that we're gog back there, but we absolutely are. Maybe we all got a ltle too fy, too quickly. </p><p data-no-id="41" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>How do you acunt for backslidg this way?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I mean, if you want to get ep, I thk what's gog on this untry and the wtern world, general, is that the enomi of the wtern world have stopped functng healthy ways, s ago, and people have been beg angrier and angrier and angrier about . It's been wily ignored. People are lookg for spegoats. </p><p data-no-id="43" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's a very repetive story. That's the really prsg part, that 's all very predictable. Look who’s beg blamed for problems. It is the same groups that always get blamed. I don't thk 's safe or okay to dismiss all as jt angry, bter, hateful people eher. I thk there's a lot of plex sh gog on there and some of shouldn't be so easily dismissed ... Don't get me on my soapbox, Dave. </p><p data-no-id="44" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Well, let's get back to MTV fame then. There's nobody who teach you what is or how to al wh . There's no class to take.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="45" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">No ntext. I dare you to look for a therapist who specializ people who are fucked up om realy TV and overexposure. </p><p data-no-id="46" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>I bet there's one now. </strong></p><p data-no-id="47" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">They love to take the s bee 's a fascatg se study for them, but they have absolutely no ia how to manage . We have gotten to a pot where there is enough realy TV that exists, and there's enough data out there now, there's very clear them gog on. </p><p data-no-id="48" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Was there a moment that you remember thkg like, <em>This is not healthy</em>?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="49" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I'd say about 10 years ago at the nadir of my life, ep the trough, I had ser regrets for dog any of . You know, me and my ex had fally spl. I went through a uple of seri of ser pathologil stalkers, one who was a policeman, that really rocked my sense of safety. I had to stop kiddg myself that I had the upper hand, that I accepted feat and huy. It was the first time I realized I really need to have someone help me through some of this sh. What I now have the language to scribe, but at the time, I had no unrstandg of what I was gog through. But you start to realize is not healthy to be credibly anx all the time, 's not healthy to fear beg public, 's not normal. You know? All the thgs that I had bee numb to and thought were jt how we all operate. </p><p data-no-id="50" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>So what pelled you to do the show aga?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="51" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“What the fuck were you thkg?” </p><p data-no-id="52" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Y. Exactly.</strong> </p><p data-no-id="53" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I'll be totally hont wh you and I hope you will publish this. So probably three years before, I had been very lucky to e across a therapist who specializ Complex PTSD, and psilocyb as treatment. That was life-changg for me. </p><p data-no-id="54" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It gave me both the tools to wipe the tracks clear and have a whole new empathetic outlook aga. It also gave me the amework to unrstand what happened and why, any human would naturally react the way I did. Havg those tools and that amework changed my life. Then the panmic happened and I left New York and I left the rat race and I jt went and I spent almost two years the woods a lot of silent medatn time and was life-changg. I don't thk I would have agreed to this had that experience not happened. I wasn't mentally prepared for or psychilly prepared for .<br /></p><p data-no-id="55" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">I highly remend that everyone abandon their life and live the woods for a year or two. It's good for you. </p><div supprsHydratnWarng data-no-id="56" data-embed="pullquote" class="embed css-0 e9hzx6g0"><blockquote class="css-1eiql25 e1pe3zr91"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-ow0dpz eagam8p0"></span><blockquote class="css-la9czl e1pe3zr90">I highly remend that everyone abandon their life and live the woods for a year or two. </blockquote><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></blockquote></div><p data-no-id="57" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>So on the other si of all this, lookg back now, 2022, are you glad you did ?</strong> </p><p data-no-id="58" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">It's hard for me to say about that first time. I thk there's a level of moral obligatn when adults throw children on televisn and moize [them]. Let's be real, those are fuckg children. Your early twenti, you're children. </p><p data-no-id="59" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">There's a moral rponsibily there that was not taken by any adults around . I would never put the young versn of myself through that aga. That was not okay. I like to thk today that kids who are thrown TV suatns, they're taken better re of. I thk there is a higher gree of mental health re general today, but particularly, for people who have been on the shows, they get the rourc they need. I like to thk that. I don't know if 's te, but I would never put the young versn of myself through that aga. </p><p data-no-id="60" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The send time, I do thk was a gift and I am so credibly thankful that we all took the risk we did and put ourselv to the suatn. I thk the chanc were probably 99% agast happeng, and somehow did. It's a b of a miracle that did.</p><style data-emotn="css 2ok9l4">{marg-top:1.875rem;borr-top:th solid #595959;}</style><div data-jam-id="thor-b" class="css-2ok9l4 e13rjwo40"><style data-emotn="css f0b5z8">{display:grid;grid-template-lumns:to 1;grid-lumn-gap:0.625rem;paddg-top:1.25rem;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;clear:both;}</style><div class="css-f0b5z8 e19xk9rq8"><style data-emotn="css irehmq">{borr-radi:50%;height:60px;width:60px;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:40px;height:40px;}}</style><span class="css-irehmq e19xk9rq1"><style data-emotn="css o0wq4v">{width:100%;height:100%;borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Dave Holm" tle="Headshot of Dave Holm" width="100%" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" class="css-o0wq4v e19xk9rq3" /></span><div><style data-emotn="css 3sqxrq">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;grid-gap:4px;-webk-align-ems:basele;-webk-box-align:basele;-ms-flex-align:basele;align-ems:basele;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;}</style><div class="css-3sqxrq e19xk9rq7"><span class="css-0 e19xk9rq5"><style data-emotn="css 1yunoig">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1kgdfad">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;text-transform:upperse;lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/9774/dave-holm/" class="e1c1bym13 css-1kgdfad e1c1bym14"><span>Dave Holm</span></a></span></div><style data-emotn="css pqlu">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><div class="css-pqlu e19xk9rq6">Edor-at-Large</div><style data-emotn="css 8u8x58">{display:-webk-box;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.4;overflow:hidn;paddg-top:0.3125rem;-webk-box-orient:vertil;-webk-le-clamp:5;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{-webk-le-clamp:10;}}>*{display:le;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:CharterItalic,Geia,Tim,Serif;} p{marg:0rem;} p a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;} p a:hover{text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-8u8x58 e19xk9rq4"><p>Dave Holm is Esquire's L.A.-based edor-at-large. His first book, "Party of One," is out now. </p></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div><div class="css-79elbk eg8z2o90"><div class="css-79elbk e1tp40ll1"><div data-anchor-id="P0-0" class="css-0 e1tp40ll0"></div></div><style data-emotn="css hi6ssp">{display:block;grid-area:article_body;grid-lumn:article_body-start/article_body-end;grid-row:to;jtify-self:center;marg:1.25rem 0 0;}@media prt{{display:none;}}@media(max-width: 30rem){{width:100%;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{m-height:28rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:488px;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:612px;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{max-width:40.25rem;}}</style><div class="css-hi6ssp eg8z2o92"></div></div></div></div><div></div><style data-emotn="css 6b9rfj">{display:block;-webk-flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-ms-flex-preferred-size:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-webk-box-flex:0;-webk-flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-posive:0;flex-grow:0;-webk-flex-shrk:0;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrk:0;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="no-prt css-6b9rfj ewisyje1"><div><style data-emotn="css 1tuodqg">{width:330px;paddg-left:30px;}</style><div id="ad-article-rail-flt-wrapper" class="vertil-ad css-1tuodqg eqm02p30"><style data-emotn="css w0cuw4">{display:block;posn:-webk-sticky;posn:sticky;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="vertilAdSticky css-w0cuw4 eqm02p32"><style data-emotn="css 9fasmy">{m-height:523px;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:jtify;-webk-jtify-ntent:space-between;jtify-ntent:space-between;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{m-height:138px;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{ntent:"";display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;borr-bottom:th solid #E8E8E8;}}</style><div class="standard-article-vertil-ad css-9fasmy eqm02p31"><style data-emotn="css 14b96eg">{m-width:18.75rem;text-align:center;}</style><div id="gpt-ad-vertil-top" class="ad-ntaer css-14b96eg e1hka4w80"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1pqv15d">{marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0 0.938rem;}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0 2.5rem;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1pqv15d e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 604vx7">{text-align:center;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr-top:0.125rem solid #15263D;}</style><div class="css-604vx7 e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1sowyjy">{marg-bottom:1.25rem;}</style><div class="css-1sowyjy e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css ju94x7">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;background-lor:#ffffff;lor:#000;borr:0.125rem solid #15263D;text-align:left;width:-webk-f-ntent;width:-moz-f-ntent;width:f-ntent;borr-radi:2rem;display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.04rem;marg-top:-1rem;paddg:0.5rem 0.9375rem 0.25rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-ju94x7 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">Watch Next</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css un61">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;marg:0rem;m-height:to;paddg-top:1rem;text-align:left;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-un61 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css b3y6x">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;} {posn:absolute;marg:0rem;}{ntent:"";display:block;height:0rem;width:100%;}@media(max-width: 30rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.16) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 30rem) and (max-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.43) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem) and (max-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((33% / 1.40) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.36) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.46) + 20px + 1.66em);}}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-b3y6x e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in.