So, How Gay Is ‘Thor: Love and Thunr,’ Really? | Vany Fair

Contents:

• ‘IS K GAY’ BATED BY MARVEL FANDOM AFTER THOR: LOVE & THUNR SCENE
• IS K GAY ‘THOR: LOVE AND THUNR?’
• MARVEL STUDS APPEARS TO RETN K’S RACE TO MAKE THEM ALL MALE, REVEALS K IS GAY THOR: LOVE AND THUNR
• THOR: LOVE AND THUNR GAY CHARACTERS: ARE K AND VALKYRIE LGBTQIA+?
• SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSHRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSHVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSA BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF EVERYTHG HAPPENG AT THIS FALL’S FILM FTIVALS—WHOUT THE STARSA SER SETBACK FOR TMP’S PLAN TO GET REELECTED AND PARDON HIMSELFMEET KYLE DCHANEL, THE PRETEND PLAYBOY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE FOOLED HALF OF MANHATTANTHE ULTIMATE GUI TO FALL MOVIFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

‘IS K GAY’ BATED BY MARVEL FANDOM AFTER THOR: LOVE & THUNR SCENE

Referrg to a scene Thor: Love & Thunr, is implied that K is gay after a scene showg his partner, and fans are weighg on the reveal. Sendly, a scene at the end of the film shows K settled down wh his partner who rri a mean-lookg mtache and they had a baby Kronan scen heavily imply that K is gay, but there is another pot that suggts the ntrary, as poted out by by David M.

Bet/Dave Bet/WireImageMarvel fans have their sayA majory of the Marvel fandom is celebratg the fact that K uld be gay, alongsi Valkyrie’s bisexualy – as nfirmed by actor Tsa Thompson. Furthermore, fans are also potg out that K’s race of Kronans is all-male – referred to as the stone men om Saturn – and some are wonrg “if that unts” as beg is revealed to be gay but his entire race is male so ya know- idk if unts lol— Hernandy – The Dynasty S Amor (COMMISSIONS OPEN) (@Pollos_Hernandy) July 7, 2022 View Tweet K is shown to be gay but that's not really by choice (Sce his entire race is only guys) & Valkyrie is also gay bee they brg up twice how she had a girliend.

IS K GAY ‘THOR: LOVE AND THUNR?’

— Rirdo (@Rirdo15294790) July 8, 2022 View Tweet Is K gay? Wonr Woman, and the rt of the Amazons were nsired gay, K’s orientatn is certaly Themyscira was only habed by women, would have been pletely normal for femal to seek a partnership wh another female, and ’s the same se for the Kronans.

However, sce Diana Prce end up fallg for Steve Trevor, fans believe that the characters would still be nsired gay for choosg to ntue their relatns wh the same sex once the oppose was troduced. It mak K jt the send named male character the Marvel Cematic Universe to be nfirmed gay — wh the only other non character beg Phastos Eternals.

Is K gay Marvel Comics? The character is ed gay the origal source material, wh K a relatnship wh Hiroium, a fellow warrr stuck on Sakaar.

MARVEL STUDS APPEARS TO RETN K’S RACE TO MAKE THEM ALL MALE, REVEALS K IS GAY THOR: LOVE AND THUNR

Not only did the film seemgly retn the Kronan to makg them all male spe K clearly referrg to his mom Thor: Ragnarok, but Wai and Marvel Studs also ma K gay Thor: Love and Thunr. 'I n't be the only one nfed by K's speci beg gay': Thor 4 fans are baffled by fan favoure's sexualy as they qutn film seri' lack of ntuyWarng: Contas spoilers Updated: 11:24 BST, 12 July 2022. Thor fans have qutned how K's all-male speci Love And Thunr uld be gay bee the storyle don't seem to match up wh his fay background a past movie.

K was seen beg happily paired wh a male character whom he shar a baby Kronan wh - nfirmg his character is gay. 'I n't be the only one that is nfed by K's speci beg gay': Thor 4 fans are baffled by fan favoure's sexualy as they qutn film seri' lack of ntuyThor: Love And Thunr tells the story of how Thor enlists the help of Valkyrie, K and ex-girliend Jane Foster to fight Gorr the God Butcher, who tends to make the gods extct. Disveri: Fans also noticed that Tsa Thompson's character Valkyrie, (left) also appears to be gay They wrote: 'I n't be the only one that is nfed by K's speci beg gay bee K says Ragnorak that he got kicked out of his Mom and bfs hoe and then proceeds to talk about his dads.

THOR: LOVE AND THUNR GAY CHARACTERS: ARE K AND VALKYRIE LGBTQIA+?

''The only gay thg about tbh was Val kissg that women's hand, and that whole K thg about his speci all beg male, how e Thor Ragnarok he says he has sisters n a mum.

SO, HOW GAY IS THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, REALLY?NATALIE PORTMAN CLAIMED THAT THE ANCHISE’S LATT STALLMENT IS “SO GAY”—BUT IS SHE RIGHT?BY CHRIS MURPHYJULY 8, 2022BY JAS BOLAND/MARVEL STUDS.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEWHEN NATALIE PORTMAN SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS “SO GAY,” I WANT TO BELIEVE HER. AFTER ALL, SHE’S A QUEER IN BY VIRTUE OF STARRG PABLO LARRAíN’S JACKIE, MANY MISS DR MERCIALS, AND, FIRST AND FOREMOST, WNG THE OSR FOR THE BLACK SWAN, A PSYCHOSEXUAL PAS UX BETWEEN TWO WARRG BALLERAS. SO WHEN PORTMAN SWORE DURG A Q&A AT THE LONDON PREMIERE OF HER LATT FILM, THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, THAT MARVEL’S NEWT OFFERG IS “SO GAY,” MY TERT WAS IMMEDIATELY PIQUED—AND WHILE I HADN’T SEEN A MARVEL FILM SCE 2018’S BLACK PANTHER, I HAD TO KNOW WHETHER THOR 4 WOULD BE AN ENTRY TO THE QUEER CEMATIC NON à LA MOONLIGHT, CAROL, AND THE NILE KIDMAN AMC AD.SO OFF TO THE CEPLEX I WENT, TSTG NATALIE PORTMAN SPE MORS THAT THOR: LOVE AND THUNR MIGHT NOT BE AS GAY AS SHE CLAIMED. BUT STILL, I HAD FAH. THOR: LOVE AND THUNR WAS DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAI, WHOSE QUEER, PIRATE HBO MAX SHOW, OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH, CERTALY CROSS THE THRHOLD OF “SO GAY.” BISEXUAL ACTOR TSA THOMPSON WENT ON RERD AT SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON SAYG THAT SHE WANTED TO FD HER CHARACTER VALKYRIE, THE FEMALE KG OF ASGARDS, A QUEEN THE NEXT FILM. PL, THERE WAS GOG TO BE A RA ORA MEO. ALL POSIVE SIGNS!WHAT I FOUND…WELL I’M STILL TRYG TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND. BELOW IS A LIST OF THE GAY MOMENTS, SUBTEXT, AND ENERGY THAT I ULD FD THOR: LOVE AND THUNR, RANKED BY THEIR LEVEL OF GAYNS. BE WARNED: SPOILERS ABOUND.NOT GAY (AND SORT OF RUDE)CHRIS PRATT’S STAR-LORD IS PRETTY HEAVILY FEATURED THE FIRST 15 MUT OF THE FILM. THERE’S A FIGHT SCENE WHERE THOR FENDS OFF TWO MONSTERS WHILE A RSIAN SPL, AND STAR-LORD DRAMATILLY ROLLS HIS EY (WHICH GOT A BIG LGH OM THE DIENCE, BY THE WAY). SHAMG ANOTHER MAN FOR BEG SUPER FLEXIBLE AND A “B MUCH”? SORRY; THAT’S ANTI-QUEER BEHAVR, I’M AAID.CHRISTIAN BALE’S PERFORMANCE AS GORR THE GOD BUTCHER WAS GIVG VOLMORT VIB, WHICH MA ME THK OF HARRY POTTER, WHICH MA ME THK OF J.K. ROWLG—WHO IS ACTUALLY HARMFUL TO LGBTQ+ PEOPLE AND TO MY PSYCHE. ALSO, FOR THE ENTIRE FILM I THOUGHT HE WAS PL BETTANY.THERE’S A B WHERE HEIMDALL’S SON, AXL (KIERON L. DYER), RENAM HIMSELF, AND THOR SISTS THAT AXL E HIS PREV NAME, ASTRID. EVENTUALLY, THOR ACQUIC AND LLS AXL BY HIS CHOSEN NAME…BUT ’S LEFT A WEIRD TASTE SOME LGBTQ+ FANS’ MOUTHS.SIMPLY NOT GAYTHERE’S A SHORT MONTAGE OF THOR, PLAYED BY CHRIS HEMSWORTH, AND HIS MANY LOVERS…ALL OF WHOM ARE WOMEN. TECHNILLY, HE KISS A “WOLF WOMAN” WHILE RIDG “A WOMAN WOLF,” BUT THE ENERGY OF ALL IS OVERWHELMGLY STRAIGHT LOTHAR.THE MONTAGE THAT PICTS NATALIE PORTMAN’S DR. JANE FOSTER AND THOR’S RELATNSHIP IS BASILLY JT A 10-MUTE VERSN OF THE BREAKUP (2006) STARRG JENNIFER ANISTON AND VCE VGHN, PL A MAGIC HAMMER. DECIDLY NOT GAY.MATT DAMON AND MELISSA MCCARTHY BOTH APPEAR A PERFORMG TROUPE ASGARD, ACTG OUT THE LEGEND OF THOR. LATER ON, DAMON APPEARS AGA AND ASKS VALKYRIE IF HE SHOULD WRE A PLAY TO HELP SAVE THE TOWN, WHICH HAS BEEN RAVAGED BY VOLGORR THE GOD BUTCHER. WHILE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF SURPRISE CELEBRY REVEALS THE FILM IS SOMEWHAT GAY (WHO DON’T LOVE A RUVEAL!), THE MOCKERY OF STAGE ACTG IS NOT GAY AT ALL.SLIGHTLY GAYTHE FILM OPENS WH A PREFACE THAT FEATUR THE GOD DNYS (SIMON RSELL BEALE)—SHIRTLS A FIELD OF GIGGLG FLOWERS AND WEARG A SPARKLY GOLN CROWN AND STATEMENT NECKLACE, BRAGGG ABOUT HOW MANY FOLLOWERS HE HAS. FLOWERS, STATEMENT NECKLAC, AND BEG OBSSED WH FOLLOWERS? DEFELY A B GAY!K MISTAKENLY LLS JANE FOSTER “JANE FONDA.” THE VOTN OF MISS FONDA, ’80S AEROBICS AND 9 TO 5 QUEEN, IS FELY SLIGHTLY GAY!THE FIRST NEEDLE DROP OF THE FILM IS, QUE RANDOMLY, ENYA’S “ONLY TIME.” THIS FEELS WEIRDLY APPROPRIATE GIVEN THE RECENT RURGENCE OF WCHY FORMER POP STARS WHO NOW LIVE STL PLETELY OFF THE GRID. AGA, NOT EXPLICLY GAY ANY WAY, BUT I FELY UGHT QUEER VIB.THOR’S CLOTH ACCINTALLY GET STRIPPED OM HIM, LEAVG HIM STANDG A ROOM FULL OF GODS THE NU. WHILE NOTHG SALAC IS SEEN (THE MOVIE IS ONLY PG-13, AFTER ALL), I BELIEVE THAT IMAGG CHRIS HEMSWORTH NAKED WILL RULT A QUEER AWAKENG FOR SOME OF THE YOUTH (AND, LET’S FACE , THE ADULTS) THE DIENCE. BON POTS: K SAID, “IT LOOKED LIKE A LTLE URGETTE,” I.E. A ZUCCHI—WHICH IS A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP AWAY OM THE EGGPLANT EMOJI.GAYTHOR, JANE, AND VALKYRIE MORE OR LS EXCLIVELY TRAVEL BY RIDG SCREAMG YAKS WHO N ON A SUPERCHARGED RABOW. WHILE RABOWS ARE NONILLY GAY (SEE: THE PRI FLAG, “SOMEWHERE OVER THE”), THIS IS SORT OF THE LOWT POSSIBLE BAR YOU ULD PASS FOR HAVG QUEER NTENT. BUT, I GUS UNTS.THE SHEER NUMBER OF FIERCE PANTSUS VALKYRIE WEARS AS KG OF ASGARD. SERVG LEWKS IS GAY!VALKYRIE BRGS A PORTABLE SPEAKER WH HER ON THE RABOW GOAT SHIP AND PLAYS A SNIPPET OF “FAY AFFAIR” BY MARY J. BLIGE. THAT’S A BOP, AND GAYS LOVE BOPS!MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSHRSELL CROWE GIV THE WORST VOL PERFORMANCE OF HIS REER SCE L MISéRABL (2012). HIS BLOWHARD ZS SOUNDS LIKE THE FIRST DRAFT OF AN ITALIAN ACCENT, BUT ZS IS FAMOLY GREEK. IT WAS NFG AND NFOUNDG AND REMD ME OF HIS JAVERT, AND THERE’S SOMETHG HERENTLY QUEER ABOUT THAT.GAY??THE SO-LLED GAYNS OF VALKYRIE IS (TENTNALLY) NFG. AT ONE POT SHE TELLS DR. JANE FOSTER—WH WHOM SHE CLEARLY HAS NO ROMANTIC CHEMISTRY—THAT SHE MISS HER “SISTERS.” DO SHE MEAN SISTERS LIKE RELATIV, SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (PLATONIC), OR SISTERS LIKE GIRLIENDS (ROMANTIC)? WE NEVER FD OUT. VALKYRIE IS THE GAYT PART OF THE FILM FOR SURE, BUT DO NOTHG EXPLICLY QUEER EXCEPT MAYBE…WHEN SHE’S PG THE KGDOM OF THE GODS. VALKYRIE BRIEFLY STOPS TO MAKE BEDROOM EY AT ONE OF ZS’S FEMALE NCUB, WHO I AM PRETTY SURE IS PLAYED BY RA ORA. THIS HAPPENS SO FAST (AND IS FILMED SUCH A WAY THAT I’M PRETTY SURE ULD GET CUT OUT OF THE MOVIE IF NEEDS TO BE LS LGBTQ+-IENDLY TERRORI) THAT I AM ACTUALLY NOT SURE IF ’S RA ORA OR NOT. BUT DO HAPPEN, AND IS A MOMENT—THE ONLY MOMENT—OF GIRL-ON-GIRL “ACTN” THE FILM, IF YOU N LL THAT.AT ONE POT, THOR IS VOLVED A LTLE B OF A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN JANE FOSTER AND HIS AX, STORMBREAKER. MANY LGHS ARE (ATTEMPTED) TO BE WNG OUT OF STORMBREAKER’S SEEMG JEALOY OF JANE. IT WAS NFG TO ME, A MARVEL-NEOPHYTE, AS I ASSUMED THAT THOR’S AX WAS A GENRLS OBJECT—AND NOT TO GATEKEEP THE WORD GAY, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE A LOVE TRIANGLE BETWEEN A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A MAGIL AX DON’T QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” BUT I’M HAPPY TO KEEP AN OPEN MD ON THE MATTER.THE MOST EXPLIC “GAY” MOMENT: VALKYRIE AND K HAVE A (VERY BRIEF) HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT ROMANCE WHILE THOR AND JANE FULL ON MAKE OUT. IN THE SCENE, K EXPLICLY SAYS THAT HE HAS TWO DADS, AND THAT HIS SPECI ARE NCEIVED WHEN TWO KRONAN MEN HOLD HANDS OVER A LAVA P. IT’S A SWEET MOMENT, BUT THE SCENE IS PLACED SUCH A WAY THAT, AGA, FEELS LIKE ULD BE ENTIRELY REMOVED OTHER MARKETS. DURG THE NVERSATN, K ALSO MENTNS VALKYRIE’S AD GIRLIEND AND HOW SHE’S CLOSED HERSELF OFF OM LOVE. AGA, FELY REGNN THAT LGBTQ+ PEOPLE EXIST—BUT ’S THE FIRST AND LAST TIME WE HEAR ANY MENTN OF VALKYRIE’S LOVE LIFE OR TERT WOMEN.AT THE END OF THE FILM, THERE’S ALSO THE BRIEFT OF SHOTS OF K HOLDG HANDS WH ANOTHER ROCK KRONAN (PRUMABLY A MAN) OVER A LAVA P, AN ATTEMPT TO MAYBE MAKE A BABY. DID MARVEL JT SHOW OUR FIRST SCENE OF GAY KRONAN SEX? IT’S HARD TO KNOW.SO GAYNATALIE PORTMAN G THIS FILM AS A SHOWSE AND THEN HAVG HER CHARACTER DIE, HOPEFULLY RELEASG HER OM THE MCU AND ALLOWG HER TO GET BACK TO PROJECTS LIKE CLOSER.MOST POPULARAND JT LIKE THAT: MICHAEL PATRICK KG KNOWS WHEN THE AUDIENCE TURNED ON CHE DIAZBY CHRIS MURPHYHOW MADONNA TURNED THE LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN SET INTO A THREE-RG CIRCBY ER CARLSONSARA RAMIREZ ISSU STHG RPONSE TO ANTI–CHE DIAZ PROFILEBY SAVANNAH WALSHVALKYRIE SUALLY WEARG A PHANTOM OF THE OPERA SWEATSHIRT WHILE KICKG SOME SPIR MONSTER ASS.HONORABLE GAY MENTIONKAT DENNGS ALSO APPEARS AS A LLEAGUE OF DR. JANE FOSTER ONE (1) SCENE, NEVER TO BE SEEN OR HEARD OM AGA. SHE’S BEEN A GUT JUDGE ON DRAG RACE AND HAS A OL VIBE, SO SHE GETS AN HONORABLE MENTN HERE.SO, LOOKS LIKE THOR WILL NOT BE WNG ANY GLAAD AWARDS. BY MY SCIENTIFIC LCULATNS, THERE WERE FAR MORE NOT GAY MOMENTS THAN GAY MOMENTS, AND ONLY TWO THAT WOULD QUALIFY AS “SO GAY.” IN EVERY WAY, THE FILM WAS LS GAY THAN DUNE, WHICH FEATURED TIMOTHéE CHALAMET POUTG, BUTTHOLE-SHAPED WORMS, AND STEPHEN MCKLEY HENRSON HOLDG A LTLE PARASOL JT SO.BUT WHAT WERE WE TO EXPECT? A MOVIE PRODUCED BY MARVEL WHICH IS OWNED BY DISNEY—WHICH HAS E UNR A B OF FIRE FOR S HANDLG OF GAY NTENT AND S FANCIAL SUPPORT OF ANTI-LGBTQ+ POLICIANS—WAS MAYBE NEVER BOUND TO BE “SO GAY” AFTER ALL. SO THE NEXT TIME THE FORMER UNRSTUDY FOR LRA BELL BUNDY RUTHLS THE MIL OFF BROADWAY SAYS THAT SOMETHG IS SO GAY, DON’T NECSARILY TAKE HER WORD FOR .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRHOW FOUR BILLNAIRE TECHNO-OLIGARCHS ARE CREATG AN ALTERNATE REALYEXCLIVE NEW DETAILS ABOUT MEGHAN MARKLE’S WEDDG DRSA BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF EVERYTHG HAPPENG AT THIS FALL’S FILM FTIVALS—WHOUT THE STARSA SER SETBACK FOR TMP’S PLAN TO GET REELECTED AND PARDON HIMSELFMEET KYLE DCHANEL, THE PRETEND PLAYBOY WHO SEEMS TO HAVE FOOLED HALF OF MANHATTANTHE ULTIMATE GUI TO FALL MOVIFROM THE ARCHIVE: A FATHER’S ACUNT OF THE TRIAL OF HIS DGHTER’S KILLEREND-OF-SUMMER SALE! TAKE 25% OFF AT THE VF SHOPCHRIS MURPHY

Why do everyone have to be gay?