Why Do Women Prefer Gay Men as Friends? | Psychology Today Atralia

Contents:

• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?
• WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?
• WHY ARE SO MANY WOMEN WATCHG MALE GAY PORN?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN ARE OFTEN SO CLOSE
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

Sure, an ocsnal teenage girl falls for a boy who's gay, but don't take most girls very long to figure out that, this se, where there's smoke, there's most fely not fire.

In general, the attractn women feel for gay men tends to be emotnal nature, clearg the way for a highly satisfyg relatnship that outlasts most other relatnships gay men and straight women have. To beg, I'll addrs how and why straight women are emotnally attracted to gay men—an attractn, by the way, that is returned by gay men spas. Send, straight women love gay men bee closens wh gay men provis a wdow to how the mds of men work, somethg that women want to know as they navigate datg waters wh their straight male peers.

WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?

Though there are, of urse, differenc between straight and gay men, gay men are neverthels men who share many characteristics and motivatns wh straight men. When to the sexualy of young straight and gay men—meang, how equently they thk about sex, want , or feel impatient to get to the actual sex part—there are undoubtedly siari.

When a straight woman hangs out wh a gay man, she begs to put the puzzle together that men, general, treat sex differently than women do.

In general, gay men, and gay women, too, tend to be more fearls than their straight unterparts—particularly straight men—bee they’ve ually experienced bullyg and prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn. Meanwhile, gay men have the social license to be as outrageo or emotnal as they want to be bee gay men don't have to f to such a tightly prcribed role. Instead, they feel more fortable removg the sexual factor that exists at straight bars and prefer the harmlsns that wh socializg wh gay men gay surroundgs.

WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?

This type of relatnship is often unhealthy, wh women choosg gay men as iends for superficial reasons: bee they're more fun and love to shop.

WHY ARE SO MANY WOMEN WATCHG MALE GAY PORN?

Siarly, their gay male iends often treat their female iends as social accsori until the men fd a guy to hook up wh up later the night. If straight women and gay men foc on fdg iendships where there's te emotnal patibily and rpect, they n velop one of the most rewardg relatnships a person uld have. In other words, they examed how iendship velopment vari based on whether a straight woman is makg iends wh a gay man or a straight man.

Past rearch has shown that straight women and gay men form close relatnships due to an apparent creased willgns to engage timate nversatns1. Some have suggted that this may be bee straight men and women are perceived as havg ls mon wh each other pared to straight women and gay men2.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN ARE OFTEN SO CLOSE

Consequently, rearchers at the Universy of Texas explored an alternate potential explanatn: Straight women may velop iendships wh gay men more easily than they do wh straight men, bee when teractg wh gay men, the necsy of worryg about whether the potential iend will seek to ga sexual accs to them has been removed om the equatn3. Participants aga dited how fortable they thought they would be while ntug to teract wh the man after learng of his sexual inty (eher gay or straight). As the rearchers had predicted, the rults monstrated that women anticipate beg more fortable teractg wh gay men vers straight men, largely due to the removal of ncerns related to the man’s sexual tentns.

Women reported feelg more fortable when they found out that their hypothetil male nversatn partner was gay, rather than straight, and this associatn was explaed by their rced anxiety about the man’s sexual tentns.

However, the effects changed based on a woman’s level of perceived attractivens, such that only women who rated themselv as beg more attractive reported creased fort while teractg wh a gay man. This novel rearch provis sight to the velopment of iendships—both those between straight men and women, as well as gay men and straight women. In particular, appears that anxiety and ncern over a straight man’s sexual tentns serve as a barrier that slows the pace of timate iendship velopment between straight men and women, while the removal of this anxiety pav the way for women to quickly velop tstg and timate iendships wh gay men.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

Th, wh rpect to the origal qutn of whether men and women n ever "jt be iends, " the answer may hge on whether that man is gay or straight. If he is gay, the iendship will velop more quickly and be facilated by the woman’s rced anxiety over his potential sexual tert, and she may engage more openly and timately. Books, televisn shows and feature-length films have all highlighted this unique relatnship, noted for s closens and wh society's attus toward gays and lbians changg, 's bee all the more important to build a holistic unrstandg of the relatnships between gay and straight a rearcher social psychology, I've often wonred: Why do straight female-gay male relatnships work so well?

Specifilly, I believe evolutnary psychology and human matg n help expla why relatnships between straight women and gay men tend to flourish. Bee gay men don't mate wh women—or pete wh them for mat—women feel a certa level of fort wh gay men, and the procs of formg a close iendship n occur relatively heterosexual men (who, by fn, are sexually attracted to women), the procs is longer—and potentially more ght—bee men may be grapplg wh their own sexual other words, bee gay men are attracted to their own genr, they're a "safe bet" for women—at least, om a socblogil three years ago, I ially tted this theory a seri of experiments that have served as the foundatn of my rearch program on gay-straight the experiments, straight female participants were shown fict Facebook profil pictg eher a straight woman, straight man or gay man. I also reced gay male participants, and had them plete the same task (wh the gay men viewg Facebook profil pictg a straight female, gay male or lbian female) experiments, published the journal Evolutnary Psychology, monstrated that straight women and gay men perceived one another to be tstworthy sourc of relatnship and datg advice.

Crackg the why and whenRecently, my lleagu and I at the Universy of Texas at Arlgton veloped a seri of four related tled the four studi "Why (and When) Straight Women Tst Gay Men: Ulterr Matg Motiv and Female Competn, " wh the hope of better tablishg why straight women tst gay men and when straight women would be most likely to seek out gay men for iendship and the first study, I wanted to replite the fdg that women tst gay men more than straight men or straight women.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

This time, however, I wanted to see if women would only tst gay men's datg-related advice as opposed to other typ of turns out straight women only tsted a gay man's advice about a potential boyiend more than the same advice om, say, a straight man or another straight woman. It really only had to do wh one thg: datg and further exame why this might be the se, we had women image receivg rmatn om eher a straight woman, straight man, or a gay man about their physil appearance and the dateabily of potential boyiends. We then asked the women how scere they felt the rpons expected, the female subjects seemed to perceive the judgments g om the gay man to be more scere bee they knew that he wouldn't have any ulterr motiv—whether that meant woog the subject (which they might spect of straight men) or petg for the same romantic partner (straight women) the fal two studi, we wanted to figure out when women were most likely to beiend and place their tst gay men.