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We're Here to Help!" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" class="e9l0kn00 css-10asp0m e1c1bym14"><span emProp="name">So You're Feelg a Ltle Bicur. We're Here to Help!</span></a><meta emProp="posn" ntent="2" /></li></ol></nav><style data-emotn="css sgwfvb">{font-fay:GraphikConnsed,GraphikConnsed-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;grid-lumn:1/-1;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-top:0.9375rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:3rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.625rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:3.75rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{font-size:3.75rem;le-height:1.1;}} em, i{paddg-right:0.3125rem;}</style><h1 class="css-sgwfvb exadjwu10"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span>So You're Feelg a Ltle Bicur. We're Here to Help!<span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h1><style data-emotn="css gpc83z">{lor:#595959;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-align:center;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.125rem;le-height:1.2;}} a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;} a:hover{lor:#d2232e;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-gpc83z exadjwu8"><p>8 expert tips for explorg your sexualy. </p></div><style data-emotn="css 61aae5">{lor:#6F6F6F;display:le;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 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1nlla76">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#d2232e;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/15962/zachary-zane/" class="css-1nlla76 e1c1bym14">Zachary Zane</a></span><style data-emotn="css w0ebia">{display:le-block;text-transform:upperse;marg-left:0.625rem;}</style><time class="css-w0ebia exadjwu6">Published: Oct 18, 2019</time></addrs></div><style data-emotn="css wkpw2c">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;}</style><div class="no-prt css-wkpw2c exadjwu15"><style data-emotn="css 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g0gd">{width:160px;text-align:left;font-fay:Inter,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.045rem;font-size:0.70284rem;le-height:1.1;lor:#595959;text-transform:none;}</style></div></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="Male uple at home,foolg around, kissg and lghg" tle="Male uple at home,foolg around, kissg and lghg" width="5600" height="3733" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 11z3u4d">{lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-11z3u4d e6iqd2">Ashley Corb-Teich</span><style data-emotn="css bcdrfk">{lor:#6F6F6F;font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:bold;letter-spacg:0.03rem;paddg:0 0.3rem;paddg-right:0.3125rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.71434rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.72308rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><span class="css-bcdrfk e6iqd0">//</span><span class="css-11z3u4d e6iqd1">Getty Imag</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="0" class="body-text css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">After years of wonrg if I uld ever be timate wh another man, I cid to hook up wh a du my hman year of llege. I figured this "bicur" thg clearly isn't a phase, sce I'd been thkg about for a few years. The only way I uld know for sure if I was actually gay or bi was if tted the waters. </p><p data-no-id="1" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">So I did. Alas, I got so dnk orr to have the urage to hook up wh another man that I end up pg midway through our enunter. After the experience, I uld not tell you if I was gay or bi. Overall, the experience was "meh," like any really sloppy, dnken hookup regardls of genr. </p><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">The thg is, I went about hookg up wh a guy all wrong. I had expectatns about what I should feel, still stggled wh ternalized homophobia, and didn't realize that sexualy is a spectm. I thk that's why I felt even more nfed after hookg up wh a guy. </p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Still, I'm glad I did explore, and did eventually lead me to embracg my sexualy, though took another five years. Neverthels, there were fely thgs I uld have done to better prepare myself for explorg sexually wh other men. Thgs I learned years after the fact. Now, wh the help of two sexualy experts, I'm gog to impart what I wish I knew and had done before (and after) hookg up wh my first guy. </p><style data-emotn="css ibml19">{font-fay:GraphikBold,GraphikBold-fallback,Helveti,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.1875rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.375rem;le-height:1;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="5" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">1. Start wh porn.</h2><style data-emotn="css 19p7hma">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;marg:0.9375rem 0 0 0.625rem;paddg:0 0 0 1.25rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:0.9375rem 0;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;} li{paddg-bottom:0.625rem;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} li::marker{lor:#323232;}</style><ol data-no-id="6" class="css-19p7hma et3p2gv0"></ol><p data-no-id="7" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">You don’t need to jump headfirst to perative sex wh a man. Porn is a great way to explore your sir a manner that’s accsible and private. </p><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">“As a startg pot for actg out sexual fantasi, many people turn to pornography bee offers a ‘safe’ way to explore, pecially if you’re a ltle aaid of actg out or don’t know how to go about ,” says <style data-emotn="css 38knzi">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.125rem;text-ratn-lor:#d2232e;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}{lor:#000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;background-lor:#F3B032;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}</style><a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Dr. Jt Lehler" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">Dr. Jt Lehler</a>, rearch fellow at the Ksey Instute and thor <a href=" rel="nofollow" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Tell Me What You Want" data-vars-ga-product-id="53dd5ba5-f8b6-46d5-8d6f-0cfe75c62b80" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","metadata":{}}}" data-vars-ga-product-price="$10.99" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="9bdc6e31-a3ce-458c-9a4c-adb31929b696" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Interpersonal Relatns" class="body-lk product-lks css-38knzi ebsw2pb0"><em>Tell Me What You Want</em></a>.</p><p data-no-id="9" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">For bicur men specifilly, Lehler not there are plenty of pornos out there which feature bicur them. “So that’s probably the easit startg pot for gettg a sense of what you do and don’t like,” he says.</p><h2 data-no-id="10" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">2. Move to apps and chat rooms. </h2><p data-no-id="11" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"Apps and chat rooms g sextg and vio chats are great ways to explore how you feel about engagg sexually wh men before jumpg to the ep end and schlg your first hook-up," says <a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Jor-El Caraballo" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">Jor-El Caraballo</a>, a licensed mental health profsnal who works largely wh LGBTQ+ clients. It allows you the opportuny to engage wh other men sexually whout <em>dog</em> anythg IRL. (Grdr and Scff are two good <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="apps" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0">apps</a> to e.) </p><h2 data-no-id="12" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">3. Have a bisexual MMF threome. </h2><p data-no-id="13" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">If after watchg some bi/gay porn and talkg to some dus on apps/chat rooms, you’re thkg to yourself, <em>alright, I thk I uld potentially be to this</em>, might be time to nsir havg a threome wh a woman and another man. In Lehler’s rearch on sexual fantasi, he’s found that a lot of bicur guys report fantasi about mixed-genr threom. “I thk the appeal of this scenar is that seems ls timidatg than hookg up wh jt another guy,” he says. “A lot of bicur guys worry about what means for their sexualy if they experiment wh another guy, so beg able to explore that wh a woman prent might make ls timidatg.”</p><style data-emotn="css 8c6v">{posn:absolute;left:-10000px;top:to;width:1px;height:1px;overflow:hidn;}</style><div data-ad-exclu class="css-8c6v ehha8ut0">This ntent is imported om poll. You may be able to fd the same ntent another format, or you may be able to fd more rmatn, at their web se.</div><div data-embed="poll" data-no-id="14" class="embed css-0 ektkw391"><style data-emotn="css 1d3w5wq">{width:100%;}</style><div height="150" class="css-1d3w5wq ektkw390"></div><style data-emotn="css vaxtlc">{borr:none;overflow:hidn;}</style><iame id="poll-15dd8d4f-2d39-48ef-aea3-8258a1c23e80_0c202e85bc788" tle="Poll ntent" height="150" width="100%" aria-hidn="te" data-src=" class="poll lazyload css-vaxtlc ektkw392"></iame></div><h2 data-no-id="15" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">4. Work on rcg ternalized shame.</h2><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Explorg bi-cursy isn't jt gettg out there and dog wh another guy. “It's important for men to unrstand that we live sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselv and our sir,” says Jor-El. This means that we first have to explore how much of our reluctance might be attributed to cultural attus and how much of is solely our rponsibily. “Namg that societal homo- and bi-phobia first is an important step,” he says. </p><h2 data-no-id="17" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0"><strong>5. Edute yourself. </strong></h2><style data-emotn="css 1iigb5k">{clear:none;posn:relative;text-align:center;word-break:break-word;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:100%;}{max-width:100%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{text-align:left;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:m(20.625rem, lc((100vw - (1rem * 3))/2));float:left;marg-left:0rem;marg-right:1rem;}{max-width:m(20.625rem, lc((100vw - (1rem * 3))/2));float:right;marg-right:0rem;marg-left:1rem;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:20.625rem;float:left;clear:left;marg-right:1rem;}{max-width:20.625rem;float:right;clear:right;marg-left:1rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{max-width:20.625rem;float:left;clear:left;marg-right:1rem;}{max-width:20.625rem;float:right;clear:right;marg-left:1rem;}}</style><div data-ad-exclu="(m-width: 90rem)" data-embed="embed-product" data-no-id="18" size="medium" class="size-medium align-left embed css-1iigb5k etrqhn80"><style data-emotn="css 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class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-15xqw e1c1bym14">$9 at Amazon</a></div></div></div></div><p data-no-id="19" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">One of the biggt ways to rce ternalized shame and to better unrstand how your sexualy might not be bary or stagnant (meang, specifilly, that you're not always exclively gay or straight) is to te yourself about sexualy. Alas, sex tn leav que a few thgs to be sired here the Uned Stat (and abroad, too). Instead of discsg how we e to form our sexual inty, some sex-ed class never get beyond ndoms on cucumbers—or teach abstence-only curriculum. </p><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">"Bee we live a culture that has [negative] perspectiv on bisexualy and same-sex attractn, 's important to ga exposure to alternative perspectiv," Jor-El says. There are two books particular Jor-El tends to remend to his clients. The first is Brene Brown's <em>Darg Greatly</em>,<em></em> which tackl shame rilience. The send is sexologist Dr. Chris Donaghue's book <em>Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture.</em> </p><h2 data-no-id="21" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0">6. Regnize you might not have a big “aha” moment. </h2><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">When I got to llege, I cid I was gog to fally explore my same-sex attractns that had been gnawg at me for the past few years. Whout gog to too many tails (you n read about my full experience <a href=" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="here" class="body-lk css-38knzi et3p2gv0"><u>here</u></a>), I left that first enunter feelg even more unsure of my sexual inty. I thought I was gog to have this big “aha” moment. I’d kiss his lips and immediately realize, “Woah… I’m gay. I’ve never felt like this when I've been wh women.” Or would bee crystal clear I fely wasn’t to men. Neher happened. In fact, I me to the ncln after the experience that I was straight, and took me another five years of hookg up wh men to embrace the fact that I am bisexual. </p><div data-ad-exclu="(m-width: 90rem)" data-embed="embed-product" data-no-id="23" size="medium" class="size-medium align-right embed css-1iigb5k etrqhn80"><div id="product-cb65008b-a62b-4b70-bbf0-0972aa20730c" class="css-17pp2fn etrqhn81"></div><div size="medium" class="size-medium align-right css-60ezry eyaokey4"><div class="top css-10ck1xh eyaokey2"><h2 class="css-1w0ksf0 e8seki10">Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture</h2></div><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href=" aria-label="$25 at Amazon for Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$25 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-role data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-id="cb65008b-a62b-4b70-bbf0-0972aa20730c" data-vars-ga-product-price="$24.95" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="52f3bb96-3be3-4623-9992-9c3591a954b9" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Datg" data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-vars-ga-sku="1940363780" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" class="product-image-lk eyaokey0 en6kra60 css-15xslai e1c1bym14"><div class="css-zjhp4x e729n7u1"><div data-optimizely="product-image-ntaer" class="css-1pc0key e729n7u0"><img srcSet=" 640w, 980w" alt="Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" tle="Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" src="" width="335" height="500" dg="async" loadg="lazy" /></div></div></a><div size="medium" class="css-y6pcxk eyaokey1"><div class="css-10ck1xh eyaokey2"><h2 class="css-1w0ksf0 e8seki10">Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture</h2></div><div size="medium" class="size-medium css-12bdcfv e1a1omje0"><a target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" href=" aria-label="$25 at Amazon for Sex Outsi the L: Authentic Sexualy a Sexually Dysfunctnal Culture" data-href=" data-product-url=" data-affiliate="te" data-affiliate-url=" data-affiliate-work="{"id":"29242643-49d1-404a-983c-85b499f0f894","se_id":"c7b9f75a-2f85-4251-a92e-dbc6c7213473","is_active":te,"metadata":{},"work":{"id":"469ce69f-4798-416d-9432-eaa9954b4053","name":"Amazon","is_active":te,"bs_un_id":"ad046b46-538b-42cb-aa54-c3d158875ed6","tails":"","metadata":{},"created_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241365+00:00","last_updated_at":"2021-07-28T16:03:03.241381+00:00"}}" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="$25 at Amazon" data-vars-ga-media-type="Sgle Product Embed" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-product-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-id="cb65008b-a62b-4b70-bbf0-0972aa20730c" data-vars-ga-product-price="$24.95" data-vars-ga-product-retailer-id="52f3bb96-3be3-4623-9992-9c3591a954b9" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-brand="BenBella Books" data-vars-ga-product-sem3-tegory="Datg" data-vars-ga-gallery-id data-vars-ga-lk-treatment="(not set) | (not set)" data-vars-ga-sku="1940363780" data-vars-ga-magento-trackg="1" role="button" data-ab-label="ProdClick" class="product-btn-lk en6kra60 css-15xqw e1c1bym14">$25 at Amazon</a></div></div></div></div><h2 data-no-id="24" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0"><strong>7. Talk to a therapist.</strong> </h2><p data-no-id="25" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">As always, n be helpful to explore this the safe space of therapy. "Wh a LGBTQ+ affirmg therapist, you n talk through aspects of your sexualy that seem dntg or ighteng to al wh on your own," Joe-El says. "This space will give you the secury of a nfintial and non-judgmental space where you n make your own cisns about what works bt for you whout outsi prsure."<br /></p><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Personally, seeg a therapist was the most helpful thg when me to explorg and eventually embracg my same-sex attractns. By the end of my third ssn, I began llg myself bisexual. </p><h2 data-no-id="27" class="body-h2 css-ibml19 et3p2gv0"><strong>8. You n try , not like , and you're still straight. </strong></h2><p data-no-id="28" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">There's this notn that if you so much as kiss a man once, you mt be gay or bisexual. This mak particularly sry and seemgly "bdg" when you explore. You fear that if you experiment, and don't like , people will wrongfully assume you're closeted. You fear that mors surroundg your sexualy will hnt you for the rt of your life, but here's the tth about experimentg: If you e to the ncln after hookg up wh a guy that you're straight, then you are jt as straight as a du who's never experimented. One sexual act do not fe your entire inty. Perd.</p><p data-no-id="29" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0">Now if you're someone like me, who to realize, oh yeah, I really n get down hookg up wh other men, then wele to the club, my du. Your world is about to get a hell of a lot more fun. </p><style data-emotn="css 1v2eakg">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:90%;}}{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:95%;}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:75%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:65%;}}</style><div data-no-id="30" data-teractive="VioPlayer-1" class="embed aspect-rat-16x9 css-1v2eakg e3dq3y0"><style data-emotn="css 1ui7hop">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-1ui7hop e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css 1iiivv4">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;top:50%;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-1iiivv4 e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in

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There are many gay men who say "I'm not part of the scene" -- men who hate gay bars and, prumably, crowds of queer people general. Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant.

" Y, there are some good reasons to rce your participatn gay bars (time, money, health). But you mt spend time wh others, whether that means havg a group of gay movie iends or queer gamers or playg on a gay sports team.

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This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci. AIDS vastated muni of gay men and transgenr women, particularly gay men and trans women of lor. Read the numbers: In four years, more than 5, 596 people the Uned Stat had died of AIDS, many of them gay men and transgenr women.

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But if I hadn't experienced all that adversy, I wouldn't be so furly proud to be gay. Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make.

Tmp has repeatedly attacked transgenr servicemembers, and gay men are still beg hunted and murred Chechnya.

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Are you gay or bisexual? There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn. If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself.

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REUTERS/Sebastian Castaneda/File Photo Acquire Licensg RightsLIMA, July 21 (Rters) - A Pevian high urt has orred same-sex unns to be legally registered public rerds, markg a victory for the LGBTQ muny a untry that has been reluctant to regnize gay lg, published on Friday, followed a se brought by a gay Pevian cizen who sued the registratn office for refg to rerd her 2019 marriage overseas, sayg her nstutnal rights were vlated. Reprentativ of the office were not immediately available for is one of the few untri Lat Ameri that has not regnized same-sex marriage, though is not illegal to be gay. However, 61% disapproved of gay people public Lima urt orred the rerds office to "proceed wh the registratn" of the woman's marriage, the Superr Court of Jtice of Lima said on urt clared "applible" an article of the Pevian Civil Co of 1984 on the fay, which refers to marriage as the voluntary unn between man and is likely that an appeal agast the lg will be 2020, a gay uple took Pe to the Inter-Amerin Court of Human Rights after they lost a bid for regnn of their Mexin marriage the time, the nstutnal urt led that the civil registry of Pe only regniz the marriage between a man and a untri South Ameri, cludg Argenta, Uguay, Brazil and Colombia, have legalized gay marriage recent years.

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Vcent and the Grenad, where gay sex is still homelsns to ongog physil and verbal abe, the gay muny the small natn of some 100, 000 people says is unr nstant threat. While rarely voked, the rights group and a lol activist said the laws help legimize hostily and abe agast gay people.

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Vcent who are livg abroad filed a se to challenge lol laws crimalizg gay sex that activists say should be stck down. ”Human Rights Watch terviewed more than 20 members of the island’s LGBTQ muny who shared their stori but were not intified to protect them, notg that lol police are often openly discrimatory toward gay people who seek help. One gay man relled how his classmat beat him and broke his arm.

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Several reported that their fai are homophobic and physilly and verbally abed them, g them to bee homels and promptg some to nsir suici. Many also stggle to fd jobs amid a high unemployment rate and said they face discrimatn, cludg a 19-year-old gay man who said he has rorted to beggg: “Sometim I am so hungry. It is hard for me as a gay this untry.

”Six English-speakg natns the Caribbean still crimalize gay sex, cludg Domi, Jamai, Guyana, Grenada and St. Gonsalv prevly noted there’s been a history of discrimatn agast gay people.

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I had expectatns about what I should feel, still stggled wh ternalized homophobia, and didn't realize that sexualy is a spectm. If after watchg some bi/gay porn and talkg to some dus on apps/chat rooms, you’re thkg to yourself, alright, I thk I uld potentially be to this, might be time to nsir havg a threome wh a woman and another man.

“It's important for men to unrstand that we live sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselv and our sir, ” says Jor-El.

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“Namg that societal homo- and bi-phobia first is an important step, ” he says. Avery Publishg Group Darg Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and LeadAvery Publishg Group Darg Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and LeadNow 48% OffOne of the biggt ways to rce ternalized shame and to better unrstand how your sexualy might not be bary or stagnant (meang, specifilly, that you're not always exclively gay or straight) is to te yourself about sexualy.

I’d kiss his lips and immediately realize, “Woah… I’m gay. There's this notn that if you so much as kiss a man once, you mt be gay or bisexual.

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