Deep Reads: A gay uple ran a rtrant peace. Then new neighbors arrived. - The Washgton Post

Age 12: A teacher enters your classroom of German and Turkish stunts wh a pamphlet about homosexualy.  Your iend Mehmet shouts out om behd you; “We don’t have gays Turkey, only Germany do!” Age 18: Your first boyiend, a German, troduc you to his fellow gay iends.  What do you hear? “Here’s my cute ltle Turk!” Age 25: While watchg televisn wh your brother, you mter all your strength to repeat the simple yet dread words that you’ve rehearsed for days.  You’re gay.  His rponse? “You’re not really a Turk anymore!” Age 28:  At a fe Schöneberg, a cute guy flirts wh you and asks where you’re om.  You rpond and he’s surprised bee you don’t fulfill any of the stereotyp.  So he cis to pliment you wh, “Oh, you’re not Turkish at all!” [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Many gay Turks attempt to mask the double liv they lead, as sexually active members of the gay muny and as upstandg men of the Turkish muny.[/perfectpullquote] So what do you thk you are, after all? Ce: “I say that no human beg will ever unrstand me, bee I will never…my ner—Ce—will never be open to anybody.  No human will ever unrstand me.  I always play.  This is the tth” [Mern, 2004]. Homosexual mal om Turkish migrant backgrounds belong to two mori Germany, but feel at home neher.  Their dual inti appear to be mutually exclive; orr to be accepted by one muny, a gay Turk believ he mt reject the other.  As a rult, many gay Turks attempt to mask the double liv they lead, as sexually active members of the gay muny and as upstandg men of the Turkish muny—sometim as hbands and fathers.  Others, however, are makg the so-lled parallel societi tersect.  They are fg a new hybrid muny that tegrat openly gay Turkish men as full members of both the gay and Turkish muny Germany. Growg Up Turkish Olr generatns the Turkish migrant diaspora have prerved a forty-year-old culture g om ral Eastern Anatolia, a culture more nservative than that of both their home and their host untry today. The fay is key the reproductn of this culture through the socializatn of new generatns to patriarchal genr rol and strict expectatns towards sexualy.  Sons Turkish fai appear as future patriarchs, enomic breadwners, and the fenrs of honor and orr wh the fay.  Sexualy plays a pivotal role the nstctn of the genr rol embodied the domant male and the submissive female. [perfectpullquote align="left" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]“We don’t have gays Turkey, only Germany”[/perfectpullquote] Bali Saygili is the feral appotee for Turkish Gays and Lbians for the LSVD, the feral anizatn of gays and lbians Germany.  His office handl the needs of the gay migrant muny and their fai.  Whenever he travels to Berl schools wh large Turkish populatns, the first reactn to any discsn of homosexualy is; “We don’t have gays Turkey, only Germany”.  The Wtern homosexual-heterosexual bary do not exist tradnal Turkish society.  Ined, Turkish men often engage open displays of affectn like kissg and huggg wh timate male iends, which Wtern heterosexual men would nsir “gay”.  Whereas the Wt f homosexualy by the sexual act, Turkish society do so through genr rol.  Those who refute patriarchal genr rol – exclive homosexuals, lbians, and male bottoms – are socially disgraced and exclud. Ibne, effemate men, are emed sexually perverse bee they do not fulfill patriarchal genr rol public or bed.  Patriarchal Turkish society only tolerat ocsnal and discreet acts for male top homosexualy.  On the other hand, Kulampara, very mascule men, are permted to perate whatever they want, women, donkeys or ibne, bee they sta the stereotype of man as the active and domant sexual beg; “Nobody would nsir himself as ‘abnormal’, ‘perverse’, ‘sful’, let alone ‘homosexual’ for fuckg an ibne” (Bochow, 2004). [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Patriarchal Turkish society only tolerat ocsnal and discreet acts for male top homosexualy.[/perfectpullquote] Comg Out Turkish? When Turkish migrant fai enunter the open and exclive homosexualy Germany, which Germans fe as “gay behavr”, they dismiss as a German mental sickns.  To many migrant fai, homosexualy is dually unrstood as a disease and a choice.  Gays and lbians om the Turkish migrant muny have chosen to fect themselv wh this German disease and have betrayed their own culture by assiatg to the perverse Other.  Acrdg to Bali Saygili, any discsns of sexualy, let alone homosexualy, are strictly taboo the Turkish migrant muny.  To prevent their kids om beg nonted wh topics of sexualy, some Turkish parents exce their children om sex tn urs school.  As a rult, new generatns of German Turks rema severely unr-rmed about sexualy and sexual health and, th, fall pray to the tradnal prejudic that feed homophobia. Turkish gays are well socialized to the attus towards genr and sexualy when they disver their homosexualy their adolcence.  For the first time, their emotns and hormon lie direct nflict wh their socializatn and gay Turks disver what Abdurrahman Mern lls “a disjunctn between their personal and their social inty” (Mern, 2004).  Wh homosexual sir e severe shame, alienatn, and fear of a fay disowng them and social excln.  Saygili observ that socializatn leav a unique imprt on gay Turks’ view of their own sexualy, which many German unselors have difficulty to unrstand; “Even today, many Turks who e out still thk of their homosexualy as somehow a disease”, which shap their self-nfince, liftyle choic, and behavr patterns.  Closeted gay Turks need an emotnal outlet to navigate the feelgs of shame.  Hard-prsed to fd among their Turkish fay and iends, closeted Turks experience a newfound alienatn wh their tightly kn muny. [perfectpullquote align="left" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]In one study, 64 percent of Turkish parents said they would rather see their children be alholics and 21 percent be hero addicts rather than be gay. [/perfectpullquote] Suat, a 30-year-old gay Turk who me to Hamburg when he was a teenager, do not plan to e out to his parents bee he is “aaid of the nsequenc” of beg disowned by his fay and shunned by his muny.  In one study (Ramazan, 2003) 64 percent of Turkish parents said they would rather see their children be alholics and 21 percent be hero addicts rather than be gay.  Acrdg to another survey of the g out reactns of Turkish parents, 38 percent of Turkish parents get their children married and 23 percent send them to a psychologist. (Mern, 2004)  Fai also regularly sever all ti, cludg fancial, and leave the homosexual impoverished, which n be tastrophic workg class migrant muni; Saygili noted, “Many tim those wh the urage to e out to their parents are those wh the luxury to be fancially pennt”.  Ipek Ipekçg˜lu explas the cultural price of excln for homosexuals of migrant scent Germany.  Sce queers of the German majory belong to the domant culture, they n easily substute their fai wh new majory queer muni that reproduce the domant culture and athetic; “So even if they have to leave their blogil fay, they are not losg accs to their culture of orig and their posive self-image” (Ipekçglu, 2003). For Turkish queers, ntrast, fay excln means losg accs to the social nnectns of the fay and migrant muny that reproduce their culture of orig the host untry.  Comg out transforms Turkish queers to aliens to both the mastream German culture and to their migrant culture: “Bee of a lack of substute muni, [Turkish queers] step further to self-isolatn” (Ipekçglu, 2003). [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Eher gay Turks pursue anonymo and promiscuo gay life or they velop an timate long-standg relatnship wh a gay partner who “had to accept that they would always rema a secret that would be ignored if they passed each other on the street.”[/perfectpullquote] A Game of Hi and Seek Due to the profound personal and social toll of g out the Turkish muny, the vast majory of gay Turks Germany matas the taboo of silence and remas the closet.  The pound fears of g out have led gay Turks Germany to live a double life as married men wh wiv and children.  Hakan Tandogan, an anizer of the olst and most succsful gay Turkish dance party, Gayhane, looked back at his own g out; “In the begng—we’re talkg eight years ago—everybody led a double life”.  Acrdg to Saygili, eher gay Turks pursue anonymo and promiscuo gay life or they velop an timate long-standg relatnship wh a gay partner who “had to accept that they would always rema a secret that would be ignored if they passed each other on the street”.  Ali, a 21 year-old immigrant, has been the lover of his married olr for seven years whom he ntu to vis Turkey: “His wife serv tea and he plays wh my feet—I said; ‘you know what? You’re Gay too’…‘What about ?’ [He repli].  Two kids and…his wife—somehow hurts me, for her, isn’t easy eher, beg cheated on by a gay hband…and sometime I feel ashamed lookg her face.  But then I tell myself—He was my first man, before she was even there” (Bochow, 2004). Even though this se occurred Turkey, many of our terviewers sisted this behavr is as wispread Germany. Other gay Turks rema the closet to their fay but e out the gay muny as they attempt to balance double liv, as an out gay man and as a good Turkish son or brother.  Their sexualy is tensely rtricted to private or anonymo gay spac like unrground gay bars, virtual chat-rooms, or private parti.  Saygili alleg; “Normally gay Turks shy away om public exprsns of their sexualy… which leads them to discreet chat rooms where they don’t even expose their face… [they have] this stct to hi themselv for fear of beg ‘outed’ and publicly shamed by fai and iends”.  Suat nfirms that his sexualy is “a personal matter that don’t ncern fay” bee “fay is too important to be put at risk for sexual matters”.  The choice to be out the gay muny but not at home is sometim paful and isolatg, but absolutely necsary, he clar; “[I am] willg to rea om thgs for my own personal well-beg like g out for the sake of my fay”. [perfectpullquote align="left" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]"I wish he had never told the tth."[/perfectpullquote] Ined, many Turkish migrant fai also prefer to mata this taboo of silence rather than nont the shock that their son or hband may be fected wh the German mental disease of homosexualy.  One Turkish mother revealed; “We already gused that our son is gay.  But when he told … a whole world crashed down before our ey.  I wish he had never told the tth.  How, we suffer every day when he home late.  We ask ourselv if he’s been together wh a man” (Mern, 2004).  Wh the Turkish migrant muny, both closeted homosexuals and their fai are willg to engage the game of “double liv”. Breakg Out: Fg a Gay Turkish Communy When Bali Saygili, an immigrant om Turkey, cid to e out twenty years ago Munich, he thought he mt be the only gay Turk Munich.  But after he posted ads a lol paper, he quickly disvered twenty other gay and lbian Turks and anized them to the first gay and lbian Turkish anizatn Munich.  Compared to a 2001 Emnid Instute study where 4.1% of German men and 3.1 percent of German women intified as homosexual, openly gay and lbian Turks prise an timated 0.6 percent, or 15,000, of the 2.7 ln people of Turkish scent Germany today, wh a signifintly higher number still the closet. Over the last five years, a number of anizatns for gays and lbians of Turkish orig have spng up wh the Berl gay muny to assist queer Turkish migrants to disver the self-nfince and sense of belongg need to embrace their sexualy. GLADT (Gays and Lbians of Turkish Backgrounds) was ially found 1997 as a subsectn of LSVD and later broke away orr to bee more pennt reprentg the terts of migrants. LSVD still retas MILES, a specific office dited exclively to the needs of queers om migrant backgrounds. [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]In November 2003, MILES nducted the first nference on Turkish queers wh over three hundred atten om throughout Europe.[/perfectpullquote] The specialized anizatns like GLADT and MILES attempt to fill Ipekçglu’s “lack of substute muni” wh the gay muny.  Ce, a fluent German speaker, need a Turkish-speakg unselor as Turkish was the language of his emotns, not German, which was the language of his tn and work. MILES over the limatns of nventnal German-language gay therapy wh unselg servic for each of the queer migrant subgroups, Turkish, Greek, Yugoslav, Rsian-speakers, etc.  They allow homosexuals to speak to one another their mother tongue about shared experienc and challeng.  In November 2003, MILES nducted the first nference on Turkish queers wh over three hundred atten om throughout Europe, which culmated the publitn of a seri of says, Mlims unr the Rabow (2004). The Negative and Posive of Discrimatn the Gay Communy Florenc Chite of the Anti-Discrimatn Network (ADN) Berl intifi the gay Turkish muny as a prime example of pound discrimatn, which cuts across different mory and majory groups.  Queer Turks are often the victims of triple discrimatn: racism and Islamophobia om the German straight and gay muny and homophobia om the straight German and Turkish migrant muni. Ipekçğlu am the inty spl between queer and Turkish as an absurd paradox; “If [queer Turks] are perceived as existent, the straight migrant muny nsirs them as assiated to the German domant culture or as ‘fallen out’ of the Turkish muny and th ‘Not really a Turk anymore’ but the German queers e the same statement as a pliment, ‘You’re not Turkish at all!” (Ipekçglu, 2003) [perfectpullquote align="left" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]One needs to look no further than the back-page personal ads of magaze for the fetishizatn of gay Turks Germany as domant, bisexual, and hairy exotic lovers to act out the fantasi of ethnic Germans.[/perfectpullquote] Racism agast gay Turks wh the gay mastream has dimished over the past twenty years.  When Saygili me out of the closet 1980s Munich, the gay mastream society did not embrace gay Turks out of “fear and skepticism of foreign cultur”.  Hakan Tan, a middle-aged Turkish migrant journalist, lamented a 2004 article that Turks “still face racism the (gay) scene” based on crimal stereotyp of Turks as “pickpockets or llboys”.  Murat Bahs¸i, former board member of GLADT, believ that hidn racism or misperceptns of racism are a signifint e of breakups terethnic upl.  Moreover, gay Turks pot to ncrete racist entry-polici at certa gay bars and clubs that refe to let Turks through the door. Gay Turks also suffered om exoticizatn, which, ntrary to racism, is a form of posive discrimatn where the German gay mastream ascrib certa attractive racial stereotyp to gay Turks.  One needs to look no further than the back-page personal ads of magaze for the fetishizatn of gay Turks Germany as domant, bisexual, and hairy exotic lovers to act out the fantasi of ethnic Germans.  The very fact of datg a Turk n even be perceived as somethg exotic.  When Suat started datg men ten years ago, his German boyiend flnted him to his German iends as “my cute ltle Turk”.  Many gay Turks fear that their exoticizatn and objectifitn by the gay mastream pigeonhol them to the ferr role of exotic lover or one-night-stand and not as a ser romantic partner.  Bali Saygili believ that the e of exoticized stereotyp by Germans and Turks has lsened over the years; “we were once the exotic lovers and now we are nsired more or ls normal”.  GLADT helped to unter the stereotyp wh an award-wng poster mpaign reprentg a map of Europe wh photos of llboys every untry.  Wh the slogan “you accept them only for some hours”, the mpaign argued that gay men need to stop dulgg foreigners only as one-night fantasi. [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]The most important factor terethnic relatnships is openns to different cultural sensivi, socializatns, and expectatns. [/perfectpullquote] “Race is not the problem but the difference of liftyl is” Murat Bahşi provotively claims. Turkish-German relatnships the current gay muny suffer most om misunrstandgs of cultural differenc and liftyl.  The most important factor terethnic relatnships is openns to different cultural sensivi, socializatns, and expectatns.  Many gay Turks do not pursue relatnships wh gay Germans bee they fear that Germans will not try or want to unrstand their unique life experienc as a gay Turk livg Germany.  Some ethnilly German men, like Bali Saygili’s partner of eleven years, will adm to beg skeptil about a clash of cultur and liftyl. The reprentativ of GLADT and MILES give different timat of terethnic relatnships between German and Turkish gays.  Mehmet of GLADT speculated that Germans and Turks are eply termixed wh the percentage of terethnic relatnships at fifty-fifty.  GLADT believ that the two muni are not simply tegrated, but timate.  In ntrast, Bali Saygili of MILES argu that the gay muny has a long way to go to unter misunrstandgs and fears of liftyle clash by both the German and Turkish gay muny.  Saygili prents a much lower percentage of terethnic relatnships at ten percent. (Official statistics don’t exist.) [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Bali Saygili of MILES argu that the gay muny has a long way to go to unter misunrstandgs and fears of liftyle clash by both the German and Turkish gay muny.[/perfectpullquote] Germans often fd difficult to accept the double liv of their Turkish partners, the paramount importance of fay, the taboo of silence, and their divergent expectatns of g out.  Many of Suat’s German boyiends did not unrstand why was so sential to keep his two liv separate.  He nervoly avoid requts by German boyiends to meet his parents.  Mehmet’s mother plead wh him not to move out of the fay home but stay until marriage as expected; [My German boyiend] always answered me immediately when I told him that I had problems at home ‘jt move out, pla and simple’.  I thought ’s so dumb bee [my German boyiends] didn’t know my suatn and that is not so easy to jt move out…They jt followed the German way of thkg”.  Instead of nontg cultural misunrstandgs, many gay Turks choose to pursue relatnships exclively wh Turks who share the same liftyle and cultural background.  Suat, who had prevly only dated German men, disvered his current half-Turkish boyiend “[someone] who unrstands all the ltle thgs which I had to expla to my German partners all the time”. [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Hant to rpond negatively and appear racist, many skeptil rponnts tend to be overtolerant, wh 75 percent of gay men surveyed agreeg to date pregnant women.[/perfectpullquote] “If he’s cute, he n e”: Integratn and Acceptance the Gay Communy Dpe the need to assuage fears of mutual misunrstandg, the gay Turks have tablished a permanent home the current gay mastream.  The German gay muny provis a good mol of tegratn for s straight unterparts, sce most gay Turks feel more fortable the gay muny than most Turks feel greater German society.  To tt the acceptance of gay migrants wh the gay mastream, we nducted an unofficial survey of seventy gay German men ag eighteen to fifty at Berl’s Christopher Street Day Para at Nollendorfplatz.  The qutnnaire asked the rponnts if they would date an Amerin, a German, an Ain, a Turk, an Asian, and a pregnant woman.  We believe that the survey was ls reprentative of discrimatn wh the gay muny.  Hant to rpond negatively and appear racist, many skeptil rponnts tend to be overtolerant, wh 75 percent of gay men surveyed agreeg to date pregnant women.  Surprisgly, the group most discrimated agast was not pregnant women, but Asians, wh 30 percent of rponnts clg to date them.  German rponnts next discrimated agast Turks (14%) and Ains (8%).  Few gay Germans ntue to acrd migrant gays an ferr stat based on racial stereotypg.  In bars and clubs, the vast majory of gay Germans do not nsir race important choosg partners; “Hey, if he’s cute, he n e!”, one rponnt retorted.  As a an often victimized mory, the morn gay muny Germany perhaps do not merely accept racial and cultural differenc but looks beyond them. [perfectpullquote align="left" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Gay Turkish dance parti have bee the most popular plac of enunter and exchange between muni.[/perfectpullquote] The gay muny has opened new spac for German and Turkish homosexuals to meet and party together.  More than discsn groups, cultural anizatns, and unselg servic, gay Turkish dance parti have bee the most popular plac of enunter and exchange between muni.  GLADT tablished the Gay Orient Party to help Germans and Turks meet and fd partners.  Sce 1996, the popular club SO-36, loted at the nex of the gay and Turkish muny on the Oranienstraße Krzberg, has hosted Gayhane, an oriental gay party every last Saturday of the month.  Hakan Tandogan, an anizer and renowned cross-drsg belly dancer of Gayhane, pots to the dance floor as a symbol of the possibili of tegratn of gays, straights, Germans, and migrants; “The Gayhane, which started for Turks, has end up drawg everybody you n thk of—Arabs, immigrants, Germans, anyone who feels like partyg wh ”.  The Mr. Gay Dtschland ntt has also bee a sign of the ep tegratn of Turks and German shared spac of celebratn.  For two years a row, gay Turks have won the reprentative tle of Mr. Gay Dtschland. Homophobia: A Turkish Problem? Several Turkish men are stg on the bench of a Turkish bar Krzberg, impassively observg the street. Two gay men pass by holdg hands. Sudnly the Turks are alive, shoutg a broken rhythm. That kd of scene n easily be observed migrant neighborhoods of Berl today. It may be easy to assume at first that Turks are homophobic by nature, but to what extent is te? Florenc Chite om the ADN argu that homophobia is not a culturally or religly “Turkish” problem.  Among the extremely heterogeneo Turkish muny Germany of different ag, origs, and cizenships, culture and relign are no more to blame for homophobia than they are mastream German society.  In Chite’s view, is not the specificy of Turkish culture that leads to vlent homophobic actns, but rather the generally low tnal level of migrants.  Most immigrants of Turkish scent e om poorly ted regns of Turkey and often fall through the cracks of the German tn system.  The dispary tn level between immigrants and nativ Germany manifts self the high levels of aggrsive homophobic rpons by poorly ted people of Turkish scent. [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]They shouted that he betrayed the culture of his homeland by engagg this perverse German liftyle.[/perfectpullquote] Bali Saygili disagre entirely; “there is a specific Turkish reactn to homosexualy”.  Out of a crowd of straight and gay employe of the LSVD who were hangg gay posters the nsely Turkish neighborhood of Nkölln, only Saygili, the Turkish their midst, was picked out by a group of Turkish youngsters and harassed.  They shouted that he betrayed the culture of his homeland by engagg this perverse German liftyle.  Saygili blam vilent homophobia among Turkish men on a rise of religsy and tradnalism due large part to feelgs of soc-enomic excln om the German mastream. The stance on homophobia among Turks has bee a dividg le between the major gay Turkish anizatns Germany. MILES intifi the problem of homophobia the Turkish muny as cultural and sists on discsg openly.  In ntrast, GLADT nsirs that there is nothg ethno-specific the homophobic acts by people of Turkish scent. In their view, ascribg special homophobic tennci to Turkish culture is discrimative, if not outright racist.  It hts that MILES, beg a subsectn of LSVD, has succumbed to the prejudic of the German gay mastream. The disagreement me to a boilg pot when, after a particular MILES publitn that addrsed Turkish homophobia, GLADT “refed all ntact” wh LSVD (MILES) or “cid to distance self” om (GLADT). [perfectpullquote align="right" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Volunteers hangg posters Krzberg and Nkölln enuntered episos om verbal to vlent aggrsn.[/perfectpullquote] Whatever s origs, few gay Turks would disagree that homophobia wh the Turkish muny requir actn.  MILES, operatn wh Turkish Bund of Berl-Brannburg, took the first step wh an awarens mpaign aimed at breakg the taboo of silence among gay migrants and their home muni.  MILES displayed two sets of 12,000 posters and 50 billboards all over Berl 2004 illtratg a group of gay Turkish and German youths wh the motto ““Kai ist Schwul und Murat ch. Sie gehören zu uns, jer Ze“ (i.e. Kai – a German name – is gay, and so is Murat: They are a part of —Always). An alternative versn 2005 featured a group of young women. The mpaign has produced unequivol rpons.  Volunteers hangg posters Krzberg and Nkölln enuntered episos om verbal to vlent aggrsn.  On the other hand, the mpaign produced many posive phone lls om Turkish queers and their fai askg for rmatn and unselg.  “We even had parents who rang to ask, ‘My son jt told me he is gay, how do I react’ or ‘How n we rennect wh our child’ bee the fay has had problems alg wh their child’s homosexualy”. Gay Turks are still Turks: Re-tegratn of Gay Turks to Fay Life The formatn of gay Turkish anizatns wh gay Berl has offered gay Turks the foothold to set a new mpaign to motn: the re-tegratn of gay Turks to the Turkish muny.  Both GLADT and MILES plan to offer gay Turks and their fai the servic necsary to pe wh homosexualy and the rough procs of g out.  A group of sixty Turkish women (men were notably absent om the word-of-mouth vatn) s around for a potluck dner of Turkish specialti for a closed meetg held by MILES.  They do not intify themselv as the sisters, mothers, or grandmothers of a Turkish gay or lbian.  They attend a “general tert” discsn Turkish about homosexualy.  This was the scene June 2005 at MILES’ first culturally sensive unselg service for Turkish parents.  MILES rms the women a non-nontatnal manner through role-playg and hypothetil suatns orr to discs how the women would react to one of their relativ’ g out.  The morator addrs misnceptns of homosexualy as a disease or as a choice and the women learn what servic are available to queer Turks and their fai.  Bali Saygili hop that the meetgs will prepare the women to discs the topic of homosexualy and to break the taboo of silence wh Turkish fai. [perfectpullquote align="left" borrtop="false" ce="" lk="" lor="" class="" size=""]Perhaps tegratn is all about timacy; perhaps tegratn really starts the bedroom.[/perfectpullquote] So what do you thk you are, after all?  As victims of pound discrimatn and excln, some gay Turks like Ce have rigned themselv that they will never be fully accepted by anyone, gay or straight, German or Turkish.  Unfortunately, the straight German and, more so, the straight Turkish muny have much work ahead to bat homophobia.  The challenge for anizatns like GLADT and MILES today is the re-tegratn of openly gay Turks as full members of the Turkish muny life.  Conversely, nearly thirty years after the start of the gay rights movement, gay Turks have fally tablished their own mory muny wh the German gay mory, spe stggl wh racism and exoticizatn.  Most gay Turks like Suat feel more tegrated and “at home” the German gay scene than the straight Turkish muny. What lsons do the strong cln of gay Turks to the gay muny rry for the ntemporary tegratn bate Germany?  Dr. Bernhard Santel’s passg thought that “tegratn do not require timacy” reflects a broar assumptn European natns; a host culture do not have to be timate wh s immigrant muni to create an tegrated society.  But the se of gay Turks Germany, sexualy, the utmost exprsn of timacy, appears to be more of a bridge than a barrier to tegratn.  Some time between overlookg the pulsatg crowd on the Gayhane dance floor and spottg an terethnic uple secretly holdg hands unr a fé table Krzberg, the provotive prospect popped to our heads.  Perhaps tegratn is all about timacy; perhaps tegratn really starts the bedroom.