Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• AM I GAY?
• AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?
• HOW DO I PROVE I AM NOT GAY?
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• THERE IS NO ‘GAY GENE.’ THERE IS NO ‘STRAIGHT GENE.’ SEXUALY IS JT PLEX, STUDY NFIRMS
• HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU'RE GAY WHOUT SAYG IT - MAKE THEM RPECT YOU
• WHY IS SUCH A BIG AL WHEN A GAY PERSON HS ON A STRAIGHT PERSON? WHY N'T WE JT ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE?

AM I GAY OR NOT QUIZ?

Numero scientists, psychologists, healthre profsnals, and even relig activists are batg the nature of homosexualy (as well as other kds of sexualy). In this Am I Gay quiz, we'll try to terme several mon signs of homosexualy and see how many you exhib.

Gay dividuals are romantilly or sexually attracted to people who are the same genr as them. If you’re more aroed by people who are the same genr as you, you might be gay.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Keep md that experienc of sexual aroal are extremely nuanced, and aren’t ncrete proof that you’re gay. For stance, you n be aroed by gay adult media whout necsarily beg gay yourself.

If you tend to velop csh on people who are the same genr as you, uld be a sign that you’re gay. If you often fantasize about relatnships volvg specific genrs, you may be queer or gay. You may be gay, but you uld also be pansexual or bisexual if you sometim thk about the other genr.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

You’ve probably heard stereotyp about what mak someone gay, but none of the are te.

Keep md that even if you have a sexual experience wh someone of the same genr or another genr, that don’t necsarily mean that you’re gay. Thgs would be so simple if you uld jt label yourself as gay and be done wh , but may not be that easy.

AM I GAY?

While “gay” is a totally valid label to intify wh, isn’t the only LGBTQ+ label out there. That means, for example, that you n be transgenr but also straight (for stance, you might intify as a woman and feel attracted to men) or gay (e.

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

Article SummaryXIf you’re not sure how to know if you are gay, thk about any past romantic experienc you have had. If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed.

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label.

Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex.

HOW DO I PROVE I AM NOT GAY?

Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

I have treated many men who are of Mormon, Orthodox Jewish, Catholic, and other religns who thk of homosexualy as a pathology. Their pa is excciatg, but I honor their bravery riskg losg everythg to ensure they have a qualy life as a gay man.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Beg homosexual, gay, or havg same-sex attractn is not sex addictn, and should never be treated as such.

Do you fd yourself feelg rentment towards people who are openly gay, lbian, bisexual, or transgenr? Even if you don’t nsir yourself homophobic, takg some time to reflect on your negative feelgs and attus n help unver any subnsc bias that you may have.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Related: Magic Johnson explas how he learned to love his out & proud gay son.

Homophobia is fed as an aversn to or discrimatn agast homosexualy or homosexual persons.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

For some people, the term is a misnomer, as nnot an irratnal fear of homosexuals or homosexualy. The way homophobia exhibs today looks far ls like an irratnal fear – as most phobias are – and more like a “ratnal disapproval of s effects on society”, as stated a piece by The Atlantic on how the md ratnaliz homophobia.

That “God ma men and women to procreate”, that “homosexualy is sful and immoral”, and that “homosexualy puts children at risk”. Homophobic behavr n clu bullyg, harassment, vlence, prejudice, and discrimatn based on a person’s sexualy. Homophobic parents may kick their children out of their hom for beg gay, and homophobic bulli may tnt, rile up, attack, or ostracize their peers who don’t act or intify as straight.

THERE IS NO ‘GAY GENE.’ THERE IS NO ‘STRAIGHT GENE.’ SEXUALY IS JT PLEX, STUDY NFIRMS

But homophobia isn’t always as obv and don’t always manift as outright bullyg or abe. This type of homophobia n be scribed as “liberal homophobia” and n manift the followg ways: hopg that homosexuals try to supprs their sexualy, wantg gay people to keep their relatnships private, and sistg that gay people should nform to societal “norms”. LGBTQ people, spe beg queer themselv, may also exhib negative attus towards gay people and harbor homophobic feelgs as a rult of learng and ternalizg homophobic thoughts and behavrs growg up.

Acrdg to IDRlabs, a pany that publish psychologil tts onle, this tt is “wily ced the empiril lerature and is nsired one of the most valid stments for measurg homophobia.

Wright, Jr., and Jefey Bernat om the Universy of Geia as part of a study on homophobia.

HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU'RE GAY WHOUT SAYG IT - MAKE THEM RPECT YOU

It’s ma up of a 25-pot qutnnaire that was veloped to asss the “gnive, affective, and behavral ponents” of homophobia. As stated the paper published by Wright, Adams, and Bernat, the tt nsists of three factors: “a factor that asss maly negative gnns regardg homosexualy, a factor that asss primarily negative affect and avoidance of homosexual dividuals, and a factor that asss negative affect and aggrsn toward homosexual dividuals. Acrdg to PBS’ Frontle, which reproduced the sle on s webse as part of the “rourc” sectn for s piece on “The Asslt on Gay Ameri”, the Wright, Adams, and Bernat Homophobia Sle is “not a perfect measure of anti-gay feelgs or ias, and is not a predictor of potential for anti-gay vlence.

What this means is that takg the tt outsi of actual rearch ndns don’t get you a scientifilly accurate asssment of your psychologil profile, particularly wh how you feel about gay people. However, you n e the sle as a rough measure of your or someone else’s attus toward gay people.

Srg for the tt is as follows: the higher the sre, the more negatively you view homosexual people. Herek found that there are several factors that rrelate wh hatred, prejudice, and homophobic beliefs.

WHY IS SUCH A BIG AL WHEN A GAY PERSON HS ON A STRAIGHT PERSON? WHY N'T WE JT ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY ARE?

So, if you’re male and you want to nont your homophobic tennci, you need to reasss your relatnship wh relign as well as your relatnship wh masculy. Fally, would be good to immerse yourself the LGBTQ muny, or at least start by makg iends wh a gay person.

Homophobia n take many different forms, and ’s important to unrstand how manifts to addrs . The homophobia tt we’ve provid is a good startg pot, but remember that the rults are jt one tool you n e your fight agast homophobia.