3 Ways to Accept That You Are Gay - wikiHow

Contents:

• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• “I’M HERE TODAY BEE I’M GAY.”ELLT PAGEIN FEBARY 2014, JUNO AND INCEPTN ACTOR ELLT PAGE ME OUT AT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN’S THRIVE NFERENCE LAS VEGAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SPEECH TOOK PLACE… READ MORE FEB. 2, 20141 VIEWER8 CONTRIBUTORS“I’M HERE TODAY BEE I’M GAY.” LYRICSHELLO! WOW. THANK YOU.THANK YOU CHAD, FOR THOSE KD WORDS AND FOR THE EVEN KR WORK THAT YOU AND THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FOUNDATN DO EVERY DAY ON BEHALF OF THE LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR YOUNG PEOPLE HERE AND ACROSS AMERI.IT IS SUCH AN HONOR TO BE HERE AT THE GURAL TIME TO THRIVE NFERENCE. BUT 'S A LTLE WEIRD, TOO. HERE I AM, THIS ROOM BEE OF AN ANIZATN WHOSE WORK THAT I EPLY, EPLY ADMIRE. AND I’M SURROUND BY PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEIR LIFE’S WORK TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S LIV BETTER— PROFOUNDLY BETTER. SOME OF YOU TEACH YOUNG PEOPLE. SOME OF YOU HELP YOUNG PEOPLE HEAL AND TO FD THEIR VOICE. SOME OF YOU LISTEN. SOME OF YOU TAKE ACTN. SOME OF YOU ARE YOUNG PEOPLE YOURSELV… WHICH SE, ’S EVEN WEIRR FOR A PERSON LIKE ME TO BE SPEAKG TO YOU.IT'S WEIRD BEE HERE I AM, AN ACTRS, REPRENTG—AT LEAST SOME SENSE—AN DTRY THAT PLAC CSHG STANDARDS ON ALL OF . AND NOT JT YOUNG PEOPLE, BUT EVERYONE. STANDARDS OF BETY. OF A GOOD LIFE. OF SUCCS. STANDARDS THAT, I HATE TO ADM, HAVE AFFECTED ME. YOU HAVE IAS PLANTED YOUR HEAD, THOUGHTS YOU NEVER HAD BEFORE, THAT TELL YOU HOW YOU HAVE TO ACT, HOW YOU HAVE TO DRS AND WHO YOU HAVE TO BE. AND I HAVE BEEN TRYG TO PH BACK, TO BE THENTIC, TO FOLLOW MY HEART, BUT N BE HARD.BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. IN THIS ROOM, ALL OF YOU, ALL OF , N DO SO MUCH MORE TOGETHER THAN ANY ONE PERSON N DO ALONE. AND I HOPE THAT THOUGHT BOLSTERS YOU AS MUCH AS DO ME. I HOPE THAT THE WORKSHOPS YOU’LL GO TO OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS GIVE YOU STRENGTH. BEE I N ONLY IMAGE THAT THERE ARE DAYS—WHEN YOU'VE WORKED LONGER HOURS THAN YOUR BOSS REALIZ OR R ABOUT, JT TO HELP A KID YOU KNOW N MAKE . DAYS WHERE YOU FEEL PLETELY ALONE, UNRMED, OR HOPELS.I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE THIS ROOM WHO GO TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND GET TREATED LIKE SH FOR NO REASON. OR YOU GO HOME AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU N'T TELL YOUR PARENTS THE WHOLE TTH ABOUT YOURSELF. BEYOND PUTTG YOURSELF ONE BOX OR ANOTHER, YOU WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE. ABOUT LLEGE OR WORK OR EVEN YOUR PHYSIL SAFETY. TRYG TO CREATE THAT MENTAL PICTURE OF YOUR LIFE—OF WHAT ON EARTH IS GOG TO HAPPEN TO YOU—N CSH YOU A LTLE B EVERY DAY. IT IS TOXIC AND PAFUL AND EPLY UNFAIR.SOMETIM 'S THE LTLE, SIGNIFINT STUFF THAT N TEAR YOU DOWN. I TRY NOT TO READ GOSSIP AS A LE, BUT THE OTHER DAY A WEBSE RAN AN ARTICLE WH A PICTURE OF ME WEARG SWEATPANTS ON THE WAY TO THE GYM. THE WRER ASKED, “WHY DO [THIS] PETE BETY SIST UPON DRSG LIKE A MASSIVE MAN?”*PSE*BEE I LIKE TO BE FORTABLE. THERE ARE PERVASIVE STEREOTYP ABOUT MASCULY AND FEMY THAT FE HOW WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO ACT, DRS AND SPEAK. THEY SERVE NO ONE. ANYONE WHO FI THE SO-LLED ‘NORMS’ BE WORTHY OF MENT AND SCTY. THE LGBT MUNY KNOWS THIS ALL TOO WELL.YET THERE IS URAGE ALL AROUND . THE FOOTBALL HERO, MICHAEL SAM. THE ACTRS, LAVERNE COX. THE MICIANS TEGAN AND SARA QUN. THE FAY THAT SUPPORTS THEIR DGHTER OR SON WHO HAS E OUT. AND THERE IS URAGE THIS ROOM. ALL OF YOU.I’M SPIRED TO BE THIS ROOM BEE EVERY SGLE ONE OF YOU IS HERE FOR THE SAME REASON.YOU’RE HERE BEE YOU’VE ADOPTED AS A RE MOTIVATN THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THIS WORLD WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT BETTER IF WE JT MA AN EFFORT TO BE LS HORRIBLE TO ONE ANOTHER. IF WE TOOK JT 5 MUT TO REGNIZE EACH OTHER’S BETY, STEAD OF ATTACKG EACH OTHER FOR OUR DIFFERENC. THAT’S NOT HARD. IT’S REALLY AN EASIER AND BETTER WAY TO LIVE. AND ULTIMATELY, SAV LIV.THEN AGA, ’S NOT EASY AT ALL. IT N BE THE HARST THG, BEE LOVG OTHER PEOPLE STARTS WH LOVG OURSELV AND ACCEPTG OURSELV. I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE STGGLED WH THIS. I DRAW UPON YOUR STRENGTH AND YOUR SUPPORT, AND HAVE, WAYS YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.I’M HERE TODAY BEE I AM GAY. AND BEE… MAYBE I N MAKE A DIFFERENCE. TO HELP OTHERS HAVE AN EASIER AND MORE HOPEFUL TIME. REGARDLS, FOR ME, I FEEL A PERSONAL OBLIGATN AND A SOCIAL RPONSIBILY.I ALSO DO SELFISHLY, BEE I AM TIRED OF HIDG AND I AM TIRED OF LYG BY OMISSN. I SUFFERED FOR YEARS BEE I WAS SRED TO BE OUT. MY SPIR SUFFERED, MY MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERED AND MY RELATNSHIPS SUFFERED. AND I’M STANDG HERE TODAY, WH ALL OF YOU, ON THE OTHER SI OF ALL THAT PA. I AM YOUNG, Y, BUT WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IS THAT LOVE, THE BETY OF , THE JOY OF AND Y, EVEN THE PA OF , IS THE MOST CREDIBLE GIFT TO GIVE AND TO RECEIVE AS A HUMAN BEG. AND WE SERVE TO EXPERIENCE LOVE FULLY, EQUALLY, WHOUT SHAME AND WHOUT PROMISE.THERE ARE TOO MANY KIDS OUT THERE SUFFERG OM BULLYG, REJECTN, OR SIMPLY BEG MISTREATED BEE OF WHO THEY ARE. TOO MANY DROPOUTS. TOO MUCH ABE. TOO MANY HOMELS. TOO MANY SUICIS. YOU N CHANGE THAT AND YOU ARE CHANGG .BUT YOU NEVER NEED ME TO TELL YOU THAT. THAT’S WHY THIS WAS A LTLE B WEIRD. THE ONLY THG I N REALLY SAY IS WHAT I’VE BEEN BUILDG UP TO FOR THE PAST FIVE MUT. THANK YOU. THANK FOR SPIRG ME. THANK YOU FOR GIVG ME HOPE, AND PLEASE KEEP CHANGG THE WORLD FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME.HAPPY VALENTE’S DAY. I LOVE YOU.22EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTGENI ANNOTATN3 NTRIBUTORSIN FEBARY 2014, JUNO AND INCEPTN ACTOR ELLT PAGE ME OUT AT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN’S THRIVE NFERENCE LAS VEGAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SPEECH TOOK PLACE BEFORE PAGE ME OUT AS TRANSGENR DECEMBER 2020.EXPAND +2SHAREASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHEN DID ELLT PAGE RELEASE “"I'M HERE TODAY BEE I'M GAY."”?CREDSRELEASE DATEFEBARY 2, 2014TAGSNON-MICNEWS EXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE
• AM I GAY?
• I’M GRATEFUL TO BE GAY—OTHERWISE I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A HORRIBLE PERSON
• LONGEST GAY TEST!
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY
• GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change.

I me out at a nservative Christian llege the US and was a gay relatnship for around two years wh a basketball player who end up marryg a woman. Well, you mt have been gay the whole time, some might thk, and bee of some relig shame, you cid to lie to yourself and experiment wh a girl. But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup.

“I’M HERE TODAY BEE I’M GAY.”ELLT PAGEIN FEBARY 2014, JUNO AND INCEPTN ACTOR ELLT PAGE ME OUT AT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN’S THRIVE NFERENCE LAS VEGAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SPEECH TOOK PLACE… READ MORE FEB. 2, 20141 VIEWER8 CONTRIBUTORS“I’M HERE TODAY BEE I’M GAY.” LYRICSHELLO! WOW. THANK YOU.THANK YOU CHAD, FOR THOSE KD WORDS AND FOR THE EVEN KR WORK THAT YOU AND THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN FOUNDATN DO EVERY DAY ON BEHALF OF THE LBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENR YOUNG PEOPLE HERE AND ACROSS AMERI.IT IS SUCH AN HONOR TO BE HERE AT THE GURAL TIME TO THRIVE NFERENCE. BUT 'S A LTLE WEIRD, TOO. HERE I AM, THIS ROOM BEE OF AN ANIZATN WHOSE WORK THAT I EPLY, EPLY ADMIRE. AND I’M SURROUND BY PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEIR LIFE’S WORK TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S LIV BETTER— PROFOUNDLY BETTER. SOME OF YOU TEACH YOUNG PEOPLE. SOME OF YOU HELP YOUNG PEOPLE HEAL AND TO FD THEIR VOICE. SOME OF YOU LISTEN. SOME OF YOU TAKE ACTN. SOME OF YOU ARE YOUNG PEOPLE YOURSELV… WHICH SE, ’S EVEN WEIRR FOR A PERSON LIKE ME TO BE SPEAKG TO YOU.IT'S WEIRD BEE HERE I AM, AN ACTRS, REPRENTG—AT LEAST SOME SENSE—AN DTRY THAT PLAC CSHG STANDARDS ON ALL OF . AND NOT JT YOUNG PEOPLE, BUT EVERYONE. STANDARDS OF BETY. OF A GOOD LIFE. OF SUCCS. STANDARDS THAT, I HATE TO ADM, HAVE AFFECTED ME. YOU HAVE IAS PLANTED YOUR HEAD, THOUGHTS YOU NEVER HAD BEFORE, THAT TELL YOU HOW YOU HAVE TO ACT, HOW YOU HAVE TO DRS AND WHO YOU HAVE TO BE. AND I HAVE BEEN TRYG TO PH BACK, TO BE THENTIC, TO FOLLOW MY HEART, BUT N BE HARD.BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. IN THIS ROOM, ALL OF YOU, ALL OF , N DO SO MUCH MORE TOGETHER THAN ANY ONE PERSON N DO ALONE. AND I HOPE THAT THOUGHT BOLSTERS YOU AS MUCH AS DO ME. I HOPE THAT THE WORKSHOPS YOU’LL GO TO OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS GIVE YOU STRENGTH. BEE I N ONLY IMAGE THAT THERE ARE DAYS—WHEN YOU'VE WORKED LONGER HOURS THAN YOUR BOSS REALIZ OR R ABOUT, JT TO HELP A KID YOU KNOW N MAKE . DAYS WHERE YOU FEEL PLETELY ALONE, UNRMED, OR HOPELS.I KNOW THERE ARE PEOPLE THIS ROOM WHO GO TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND GET TREATED LIKE SH FOR NO REASON. OR YOU GO HOME AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU N'T TELL YOUR PARENTS THE WHOLE TTH ABOUT YOURSELF. BEYOND PUTTG YOURSELF ONE BOX OR ANOTHER, YOU WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE. ABOUT LLEGE OR WORK OR EVEN YOUR PHYSIL SAFETY. TRYG TO CREATE THAT MENTAL PICTURE OF YOUR LIFE—OF WHAT ON EARTH IS GOG TO HAPPEN TO YOU—N CSH YOU A LTLE B EVERY DAY. IT IS TOXIC AND PAFUL AND EPLY UNFAIR.SOMETIM 'S THE LTLE, SIGNIFINT STUFF THAT N TEAR YOU DOWN. I TRY NOT TO READ GOSSIP AS A LE, BUT THE OTHER DAY A WEBSE RAN AN ARTICLE WH A PICTURE OF ME WEARG SWEATPANTS ON THE WAY TO THE GYM. THE WRER ASKED, “WHY DO [THIS] PETE BETY SIST UPON DRSG LIKE A MASSIVE MAN?”*PSE*BEE I LIKE TO BE FORTABLE. THERE ARE PERVASIVE STEREOTYP ABOUT MASCULY AND FEMY THAT FE HOW WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO ACT, DRS AND SPEAK. THEY SERVE NO ONE. ANYONE WHO FI THE SO-LLED ‘NORMS’ BE WORTHY OF MENT AND SCTY. THE LGBT MUNY KNOWS THIS ALL TOO WELL.YET THERE IS URAGE ALL AROUND . THE FOOTBALL HERO, MICHAEL SAM. THE ACTRS, LAVERNE COX. THE MICIANS TEGAN AND SARA QUN. THE FAY THAT SUPPORTS THEIR DGHTER OR SON WHO HAS E OUT. AND THERE IS URAGE THIS ROOM. ALL OF YOU.I’M SPIRED TO BE THIS ROOM BEE EVERY SGLE ONE OF YOU IS HERE FOR THE SAME REASON.YOU’RE HERE BEE YOU’VE ADOPTED AS A RE MOTIVATN THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THIS WORLD WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT BETTER IF WE JT MA AN EFFORT TO BE LS HORRIBLE TO ONE ANOTHER. IF WE TOOK JT 5 MUT TO REGNIZE EACH OTHER’S BETY, STEAD OF ATTACKG EACH OTHER FOR OUR DIFFERENC. THAT’S NOT HARD. IT’S REALLY AN EASIER AND BETTER WAY TO LIVE. AND ULTIMATELY, SAV LIV.THEN AGA, ’S NOT EASY AT ALL. IT N BE THE HARST THG, BEE LOVG OTHER PEOPLE STARTS WH LOVG OURSELV AND ACCEPTG OURSELV. I KNOW MANY OF YOU HAVE STGGLED WH THIS. I DRAW UPON YOUR STRENGTH AND YOUR SUPPORT, AND HAVE, WAYS YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.I’M HERE TODAY BEE I AM GAY. AND BEE… MAYBE I N MAKE A DIFFERENCE. TO HELP OTHERS HAVE AN EASIER AND MORE HOPEFUL TIME. REGARDLS, FOR ME, I FEEL A PERSONAL OBLIGATN AND A SOCIAL RPONSIBILY.I ALSO DO SELFISHLY, BEE I AM TIRED OF HIDG AND I AM TIRED OF LYG BY OMISSN. I SUFFERED FOR YEARS BEE I WAS SRED TO BE OUT. MY SPIR SUFFERED, MY MENTAL HEALTH SUFFERED AND MY RELATNSHIPS SUFFERED. AND I’M STANDG HERE TODAY, WH ALL OF YOU, ON THE OTHER SI OF ALL THAT PA. I AM YOUNG, Y, BUT WHAT I HAVE LEARNED IS THAT LOVE, THE BETY OF , THE JOY OF AND Y, EVEN THE PA OF , IS THE MOST CREDIBLE GIFT TO GIVE AND TO RECEIVE AS A HUMAN BEG. AND WE SERVE TO EXPERIENCE LOVE FULLY, EQUALLY, WHOUT SHAME AND WHOUT PROMISE.THERE ARE TOO MANY KIDS OUT THERE SUFFERG OM BULLYG, REJECTN, OR SIMPLY BEG MISTREATED BEE OF WHO THEY ARE. TOO MANY DROPOUTS. TOO MUCH ABE. TOO MANY HOMELS. TOO MANY SUICIS. YOU N CHANGE THAT AND YOU ARE CHANGG .BUT YOU NEVER NEED ME TO TELL YOU THAT. THAT’S WHY THIS WAS A LTLE B WEIRD. THE ONLY THG I N REALLY SAY IS WHAT I’VE BEEN BUILDG UP TO FOR THE PAST FIVE MUT. THANK YOU. THANK FOR SPIRG ME. THANK YOU FOR GIVG ME HOPE, AND PLEASE KEEP CHANGG THE WORLD FOR PEOPLE LIKE ME.HAPPY VALENTE’S DAY. I LOVE YOU.22EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTGENI ANNOTATN3 NTRIBUTORSIN FEBARY 2014, JUNO AND INCEPTN ACTOR ELLT PAGE ME OUT AT THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN’S THRIVE NFERENCE LAS VEGAS. PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS SPEECH TOOK PLACE BEFORE PAGE ME OUT AS TRANSGENR DECEMBER 2020.EXPAND +2SHAREASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHEN DID ELLT PAGE RELEASE “"I'M HERE TODAY BEE I'M GAY."”?CREDSRELEASE DATEFEBARY 2, 2014TAGSNON-MICNEWS EXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

AM I GAY?

” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns.

“Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame. ”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays.

I’M GRATEFUL TO BE GAY—OTHERWISE I MIGHT HAVE BEEN A HORRIBLE PERSON

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

LONGEST GAY TEST!

And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure. The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors.

”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way? Another landmark paper on the origs of homosexualy was published 1993 by a geicist named Dean Hamer, who was terted to learn whether homosexualy uld be hered. Begng om his observatn that there are more gay relativ on a mother’s si than a father’s, Hamer turned his attentn to the X chromosome (which is passed on by the mother).

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at. ”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is. ” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men.

Gay men make up only a actn of the US populatn — yet Ward says that there are many men not clud that number who engage homosexual behavr.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

Ccially, she argu, “whether or not this baggage is appealg is a separate matter altogether om the appeal of homosexual or heterosexual sex.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc. Ward thks this qutn is the next ontier of queer I first said I chose to be gay, a queer Amerin journalist challenged me to name the time and date of my choice. I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy.

I want to be very clear: I’m not claimg I simply began to ‘grow to’ my homosexualy, or that as I beme more fortable wh beg gay, I allowed myself the eedom to exprs what had always been latent wh me. “Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric?

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY

Sendly, the entire search for a gay gene is predited upon the assumptn that homosexualy is not the natural or ‘flt’ state of a velopg human.

“That’s a very narrow unrstandg of what jtice looks like, ” says about the ncern that homophob will want to ‘enurage’ gay people to be straight if there’s no blogil basis for sexualy? It don’t take too much creativy to image a scenar which homophobic parents, upon beg rmed their fet has ‘the gay gene’, choose what to them may seem the lser of two evils: abortn. ”Acrdg to surveys, ls than half of Generatn Z intify as "100% heterosexual", suggtg more and more people have embraced their sexual fluidy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Perhaps is time to look to the begng of the gay rights movement.

GAY AND CAN'T FD A PARTNER?

“Then there was a shift, and the lears of the movement chose to jump on board wh a ls nuanced argument that people already unrstood: jt like race, people are born wh their homosexualy. Some experts have even started g tegori like ‘mostly straight’ and ‘mostly gay’ to try and expand our limed ways of viewg human sexualy. More than a third chose a number between one and rponse to the poll, one of my Facebook iends quipped about how natural selectn mt be workg overtime, what wh makg all of gay!