Last Call: behd the terrifyg untold story of New York's gay bar killer | Books | The Guardian

Contents:

• SERIAL KILLER WHO PREYED ON GAY MEN, WAS DUBBED 'I-95 KILLER' IS EXECUTED FLORIDA
• LAST CALL: BEHD THE TERRIFYG UNTOLD STORY OF NEW YORK'S GAY BAR KILLER
• THE CHILLG CONFSNS OF A COP TURNED SERIAL KILLER OF GAY MENTHE FACE OF EVILHARRY DEMPSTER/DAILY EXPRS/HULTON ARCHIVE/GETTYTHE NETFLIX DOC “MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP” NTAS CREEPY TERVIEWS WH DENNIS NILSEN, A MADMAN WHO ADMTED TO KILLG 15 RENT BOYS OVER A FIVE-YEAR PERD.NICK SCHAGERENTERTAMENT CRICUPDATED AUG. 17, 2021 5:42AM EDT / PUBLISHED AUG. 17, 2021 5:01AM EDT KILLERS DON’T LIKE TO GET UGHT, BUT ONCE CTODY, THEY SURE DO LIKE TO TALK, AS EVINCED BY A RAFT OF TE-CRIME EFFORTS—CONVERSATNS WH A KILLER: THE TED BUNDY TAP, CONONTG A SERIAL KILLER, THE CONFSN KILLER, THE SONS OF SAM: A DCENT INTO DARKNS AND ELIZE MATSUNAGA: ONCE UPON A CRIME, AMONG OTHERS—CENTERED AROUND TAPED NVERSATNS WH NOTOR FIENDS. TO THAT LIST ONE N NOW ADD MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP, A NON-FICTN FILM WHOSE PRIMARY DRAW IS A RAFT OF PERSONAL RERDGS MA BY DENNIS NILSEN, THE STTISH MADMAN WHO TERRORIZED LONDON DURG THE 1980S, AND WHOSE KILLG SPREE, AND ATTEMPT TO AVOID RCERATN, WAS RECENTLY IMMORTALIZED BY A SUNDANCE NOW DRAMATIC SERI STARRG DAVID TENNANT.HELMED BY FIRST-TIME DIRECTOR MICHAEL HARTE, WHO’S PREVLY EDED DON’T F**K WH CATS: HUNTG AN INTER KILLER AS WELL AS THREE INTIL STRANGERS, MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP (AUG. 18, ON NETFLIX) BEGS WH NILSEN SLAMMG THE NOTN THAT HE LIBERATELY SOUGHT IMMORTALY, AS WAS CLAIMED BY A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE THAT SURMISED HE HAD A HUNGER FOR THE SPOTLIGHT OM THE HANNIBAL LECTER POSTER HANGG HIS JAIL CELL. NILSEN’S PROTTS, HOWEVER, DON’T JIBE WH THE MANY D TAP HE MA WHILE PRISON. INTEND TO FORM THE FOUNDATN OF HIS TOBGRAPHY (SELF AN ATTENTN-URTG VANY PROJECT), THE RERDGS FD THE MURRER EXPOUNDG ON HIS LIFE AND CIRCUMSTANC WH AN ELOQUENCE THAT REEKS OF AFFECTED SMUGNS—A QUALY THAT’S ALSO TE OF HIS EVERYMAN SCHTICK, AS IF ANYONE WOULD BUY FOR A SEND THAT, BEE OF HIS ORDARY APPEARANCE AND MEANOR, HE WASN’T A DANGERO PREDATOR. THERE’S NO NYG THAT NILSEN’S NONSCRIPT EXTERR—LANKY AME, GLASS, SCHOOLBOY HAIRCUT—WAS PART OF WHAT MA HIM SUCH A MABRE SPECTACLE. LIKE TED BUNDY BEFORE HIM AND JEFEY DAHMER AFTER, NILSEN DIDN’T F THE TYPIL HOMICIDAL-MANIAC PROFILE (HE HAD EVEN SERVED, FOR A TIME, AS A POLICE OFFICER). NOHELS, HE WAS AS LD-BLOOD AS THEY E, A RAGG SOCPATH WHO ADMTED TO KILLG 15 MEN DURG A FIVE-YEAR SPAN OM 1978-1983, AND WHO WAS ONLY UGHT WHEN AN ENGEER WAS LLED TO FIX A CLOGGED DRA AT HIS CRANLEY GARNS APARTMENT PLEX NORTH LONDON, AND DISVERED THAT THE E OF THE BACK-UP WAS AN ENORMO AMOUNT OF HUMAN FLH AND BONE. NEIGHBORS CLAIMED THAT THEY’D SEEN NILSEN NEAR THAT DRA AROUND MIDNIGHT THE PREV EVENG, AND WHEN HE RETURNED HOME OM HIS JOB AT THE LOL JOB CENTRE, HE LED VTIGATORS TO HIS FLAT, WHERE THE STENCH WAS FETID THANKS TO TWO GIANT GARBAGE BAGS THAT, HE NFSED, NTAED THE REMAS OF NUMERO VICTIMS.THE TAILS THAT SOON EMERGED WERE GRISLY. NILSEN’S MOD OPERANDI VOLVED PICKG UP MALE DRIFTERS AND “RENT BOYS” AND BRGG THEM BACK TO HIS HOME, WHERE HE’D KILL THEM. AT CRANLEY GARNS, THE DRA PIPE WAS A CENTRAL MEANS OF BODY DISPOSAL, WHEREAS AT HIS PRR RINCE AT 195 MELROSE AVENUE HE’D STASHED RPS BENEATH THE FLOORBOARDS—AND BURNED THEIR BODI BONFIR A REAR GARN—UNTIL HE RAN OUT OF SPACE AND HAD TO MOVE. THIS RMATN, AS WELL AS THE FACT THAT NILSEN WAS GAY AND OFTEN PREYED UPON HOMOSEXUAL MEN, BEME PRIME FODR FOR THE MEDIA, AND BBC RRPONNT BILL HATON IS ONE OF MULTIPLE TERVIEWE TO STATE, MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP, THAT HE GOT A SENSATNALISTIC THRILL OUT OF LEARNG ABOUT NILSEN’S HORRIFIC CRIM. NILSEN DON’T REALLY DISCS THE PARTICULARS OF HIS GOME PASTIME; HIS THOUGHTS ON THAT SUBJECT ARE NVEYED BY DIRECTOR HARTE VIA TRANSCRIBED MENTARY, AND POLICE AND URT RERDS PRENTED AS TYPEWRER TEXT. WH REGARD TO HIS NOTORIETY, HOWEVER, HE DO STATE THAT “A CLEARLY PREJUDICED PICTURE HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO FORM THE PUBLIC’S MD, EVEN BEFORE I WAS CHARGED WH ANY FENSE, GIVG THE MEDIA FULL LATU TO K THEIR PROPERTY. THIS ALLOWED THE IMAGE OF MONSTROSY TO TAKE FULL FLIGHT, TO WHET THE PROFABLE PUBLIC IMAGATN.” HE’S TECHNILLY RRECT THIS ASSSMENT. YET MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP MAK CLEAR THAT HIS FAMO REPUTATN WAS WELL-EARNED, AND LISTENG TO HIM ARROGANTLY PRATTLE ON THIS WAY PROV LS UNNERVG THAN SIMPLY FURIATG.NILSEN’S SIRE TO P THE BLAME FOR HIS NDUCT ON AN UNRG MOTHER AND A PEDOPHILIC GRANDFATHER MIGHT BE MORE CREDIBLE IF NOT FOR HIS WHOLALE DUPLICY AND UNTSTWORTHS, AND MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP WISELY DON’T BUY EVERYTHG THE KILLER PEDDL. THROUGH TERVIEWS WH VTIGATORS, JOURNALISTS, FAY MEMBERS OF HIS VICTIMS AND ONE MAN, MARTYN, WHO NARROWLY PED HIS CLUTCH, EXPLAS HOW NILSEN EXPLOED 1980S LONDON’S RAMPANT HOMOPHOBIA ORR TO GET AWAY WH HIS HEO CRIM. REGNIZG THAT NO ONE WOULD MISS HIS YOUTHFUL DOWN-AND-OUT TARGETS, AND THAT HOMOSEXUAL MEN PARTICULAR WOULD BE APT TO STAY SILENT OUT OF FEAR OF PUBLIC REPRISALS FOR THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN, NILSEN LIBERATELY WENT AFTER SOCIETY’S MOST HELPLS AND MARGALIZED, AND HIS ABILY TO REMA UNTECTED FOR AS LONG AS HE DID IS A POWERFUL DICTMENT OF THE CLIMATE OF THE ERA. “NILSEN LIBERATELY WENT AFTER SOCIETY’S MOST HELPLS AND MARGALIZED, AND HIS ABILY TO REMA UNTECTED FOR AS LONG AS HE DID IS A POWERFUL DICTMENT OF THE CLIMATE OF THE ERA.” DIRECTOR HARTE SKIMS OVER SOME OF THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF NILSEN’S SAGA, AND HE MOSTLY KEEPS NILSEN’S FACE OFF-SCREEN DURG MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP. THANKFULLY, THE LONGER HIS DOCUMENTARY PROCEEDS, THE LS ONE ALSO HAS TO HEAR OM THE KILLER. COMPRISED OF THE UAL ARRAY OF ARCHIVAL TV NEWS BROADSTS, TEXTUAL GRAPHICS, IMAG OF D TAP, AND TALKG-HEAD TERVIEWS—WHICH ARE NDUCTED DIMLY-L ROOMS WHERE THE PAT IS OFTEN PEELG OFF THE WALL, FOR CREEPY ATMOSPHERIC EFFECT—THE FILM ISN’T TERTED BREAKG NEW FORMAL GROUND. STILL, AS WH SO MANY OF S STREAMG-SERVICE TE-CRIME BRETHREN, S NVENTNAL ATHETIC APPROACH ALLOWS TO ACHIEVE S FUNCTNAL ENDS.BETTER IS THAT DIRECTOR HARTE GIV VOICE TO THOSE WHO WERE VICTIMIZED, BOTH DIRECTLY BY NILSEN AND DIRECTLY BY A BRISH CULTURE THAT TOLD THEM THEY HAD NO WORTH, THAT THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEIR HERENT NATURE, AND THAT THEY EHER WEREN’T VICTIMS AT ALL OR GOT WHAT THEY SERVED. IN THOSE PASSAG, MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP BE A PORTRA OF AN EVIL DIVIDUAL AND A CRIQUE OF THE LARGER ENVIRONMENT THAT ALLOWED HIM TO FLOURISH. NICK SCHAGER
• SERIAL KILLER DOCERI 'LAST CALL' RECKONS WH NYC'S HISTORY OF ANTI-GAY VLENCE
• QUEER CRIME: HOW HOMOPHOBIA HELPED 4 GAY SERIAL KILLERS CONTUE TO KILL

SERIAL KILLER WHO PREYED ON GAY MEN, WAS DUBBED 'I-95 KILLER' IS EXECUTED FLORIDA

— Gary Ray Bowl, a serial killer who preyed on olr gay men durg an eight-month spree that left six ad, was executed by lethal jectn Thursday at Florida State sentence was rried out at 10:58 p. Invtigators say Bowl survived by lettg gay men perform sex acts on him for money, though he has said he was straight.

"I had a qutn about him beg gay. In fact, the people who were most at risk – this se, gay men who met for hook-ups at New York Cy bars that served the muny – were given no staed or amplified warngs by eher the thori or the media, creatg a safe space for the murrer to ntue to wreak havoc. In fact, the se got so ltle attentn relative to s horror that today few remember , even wh the gay, three s after the murrs, journalist Elon Green has wrten a book tled Last Call: A Te Story of Love, Lt, and Murr Queer New York that go beyond the facts of the story to reveal the larger issu that surround them.

Worse, that perd reprented the height of ignorance and fear about Aids, as well as the peak ath toll the gay muny the wt, greatly impactg how the muny was viewed. “Aids took what was, at bt, a level of difference towards gay people and turned to revulsn, ” said Green. Between 1987 and 1994 the cy saw a greater number of killgs than any other stretch more than half a that benighted era, gay bars were often ‘the one refuge om the perils of everyday life’, says Green.

LAST CALL: BEHD THE TERRIFYG UNTOLD STORY OF NEW YORK'S GAY BAR KILLER

’ Photograph: Wonwoo Lee/Getty Imag/Image SourceI n speak to the equency of vlence the gay muny back then.

THE CHILLG CONFSNS OF A COP TURNED SERIAL KILLER OF GAY MENTHE FACE OF EVILHARRY DEMPSTER/DAILY EXPRS/HULTON ARCHIVE/GETTYTHE NETFLIX DOC “MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP” NTAS CREEPY TERVIEWS WH DENNIS NILSEN, A MADMAN WHO ADMTED TO KILLG 15 RENT BOYS OVER A FIVE-YEAR PERD.NICK SCHAGERENTERTAMENT CRICUPDATED AUG. 17, 2021 5:42AM EDT / PUBLISHED AUG. 17, 2021 5:01AM EDT KILLERS DON’T LIKE TO GET UGHT, BUT ONCE CTODY, THEY SURE DO LIKE TO TALK, AS EVINCED BY A RAFT OF TE-CRIME EFFORTS—CONVERSATNS WH A KILLER: THE TED BUNDY TAP, CONONTG A SERIAL KILLER, THE CONFSN KILLER, THE SONS OF SAM: A DCENT INTO DARKNS AND ELIZE MATSUNAGA: ONCE UPON A CRIME, AMONG OTHERS—CENTERED AROUND TAPED NVERSATNS WH NOTOR FIENDS. TO THAT LIST ONE N NOW ADD MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP, A NON-FICTN FILM WHOSE PRIMARY DRAW IS A RAFT OF PERSONAL RERDGS MA BY DENNIS NILSEN, THE STTISH MADMAN WHO TERRORIZED LONDON DURG THE 1980S, AND WHOSE KILLG SPREE, AND ATTEMPT TO AVOID RCERATN, WAS RECENTLY IMMORTALIZED BY A SUNDANCE NOW DRAMATIC SERI STARRG DAVID TENNANT.HELMED BY FIRST-TIME DIRECTOR MICHAEL HARTE, WHO’S PREVLY EDED DON’T F**K WH CATS: HUNTG AN INTER KILLER AS WELL AS THREE INTIL STRANGERS, MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP (AUG. 18, ON NETFLIX) BEGS WH NILSEN SLAMMG THE NOTN THAT HE LIBERATELY SOUGHT IMMORTALY, AS WAS CLAIMED BY A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE THAT SURMISED HE HAD A HUNGER FOR THE SPOTLIGHT OM THE HANNIBAL LECTER POSTER HANGG HIS JAIL CELL. NILSEN’S PROTTS, HOWEVER, DON’T JIBE WH THE MANY D TAP HE MA WHILE PRISON. INTEND TO FORM THE FOUNDATN OF HIS TOBGRAPHY (SELF AN ATTENTN-URTG VANY PROJECT), THE RERDGS FD THE MURRER EXPOUNDG ON HIS LIFE AND CIRCUMSTANC WH AN ELOQUENCE THAT REEKS OF AFFECTED SMUGNS—A QUALY THAT’S ALSO TE OF HIS EVERYMAN SCHTICK, AS IF ANYONE WOULD BUY FOR A SEND THAT, BEE OF HIS ORDARY APPEARANCE AND MEANOR, HE WASN’T A DANGERO PREDATOR. THERE’S NO NYG THAT NILSEN’S NONSCRIPT EXTERR—LANKY AME, GLASS, SCHOOLBOY HAIRCUT—WAS PART OF WHAT MA HIM SUCH A MABRE SPECTACLE. LIKE TED BUNDY BEFORE HIM AND JEFEY DAHMER AFTER, NILSEN DIDN’T F THE TYPIL HOMICIDAL-MANIAC PROFILE (HE HAD EVEN SERVED, FOR A TIME, AS A POLICE OFFICER). NOHELS, HE WAS AS LD-BLOOD AS THEY E, A RAGG SOCPATH WHO ADMTED TO KILLG 15 MEN DURG A FIVE-YEAR SPAN OM 1978-1983, AND WHO WAS ONLY UGHT WHEN AN ENGEER WAS LLED TO FIX A CLOGGED DRA AT HIS CRANLEY GARNS APARTMENT PLEX NORTH LONDON, AND DISVERED THAT THE E OF THE BACK-UP WAS AN ENORMO AMOUNT OF HUMAN FLH AND BONE. NEIGHBORS CLAIMED THAT THEY’D SEEN NILSEN NEAR THAT DRA AROUND MIDNIGHT THE PREV EVENG, AND WHEN HE RETURNED HOME OM HIS JOB AT THE LOL JOB CENTRE, HE LED VTIGATORS TO HIS FLAT, WHERE THE STENCH WAS FETID THANKS TO TWO GIANT GARBAGE BAGS THAT, HE NFSED, NTAED THE REMAS OF NUMERO VICTIMS.THE TAILS THAT SOON EMERGED WERE GRISLY. NILSEN’S MOD OPERANDI VOLVED PICKG UP MALE DRIFTERS AND “RENT BOYS” AND BRGG THEM BACK TO HIS HOME, WHERE HE’D KILL THEM. AT CRANLEY GARNS, THE DRA PIPE WAS A CENTRAL MEANS OF BODY DISPOSAL, WHEREAS AT HIS PRR RINCE AT 195 MELROSE AVENUE HE’D STASHED RPS BENEATH THE FLOORBOARDS—AND BURNED THEIR BODI BONFIR A REAR GARN—UNTIL HE RAN OUT OF SPACE AND HAD TO MOVE. THIS RMATN, AS WELL AS THE FACT THAT NILSEN WAS GAY AND OFTEN PREYED UPON HOMOSEXUAL MEN, BEME PRIME FODR FOR THE MEDIA, AND BBC RRPONNT BILL HATON IS ONE OF MULTIPLE TERVIEWE TO STATE, MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP, THAT HE GOT A SENSATNALISTIC THRILL OUT OF LEARNG ABOUT NILSEN’S HORRIFIC CRIM. NILSEN DON’T REALLY DISCS THE PARTICULARS OF HIS GOME PASTIME; HIS THOUGHTS ON THAT SUBJECT ARE NVEYED BY DIRECTOR HARTE VIA TRANSCRIBED MENTARY, AND POLICE AND URT RERDS PRENTED AS TYPEWRER TEXT. WH REGARD TO HIS NOTORIETY, HOWEVER, HE DO STATE THAT “A CLEARLY PREJUDICED PICTURE HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO FORM THE PUBLIC’S MD, EVEN BEFORE I WAS CHARGED WH ANY FENSE, GIVG THE MEDIA FULL LATU TO K THEIR PROPERTY. THIS ALLOWED THE IMAGE OF MONSTROSY TO TAKE FULL FLIGHT, TO WHET THE PROFABLE PUBLIC IMAGATN.” HE’S TECHNILLY RRECT THIS ASSSMENT. YET MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP MAK CLEAR THAT HIS FAMO REPUTATN WAS WELL-EARNED, AND LISTENG TO HIM ARROGANTLY PRATTLE ON THIS WAY PROV LS UNNERVG THAN SIMPLY FURIATG.NILSEN’S SIRE TO P THE BLAME FOR HIS NDUCT ON AN UNRG MOTHER AND A PEDOPHILIC GRANDFATHER MIGHT BE MORE CREDIBLE IF NOT FOR HIS WHOLALE DUPLICY AND UNTSTWORTHS, AND MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP WISELY DON’T BUY EVERYTHG THE KILLER PEDDL. THROUGH TERVIEWS WH VTIGATORS, JOURNALISTS, FAY MEMBERS OF HIS VICTIMS AND ONE MAN, MARTYN, WHO NARROWLY PED HIS CLUTCH, EXPLAS HOW NILSEN EXPLOED 1980S LONDON’S RAMPANT HOMOPHOBIA ORR TO GET AWAY WH HIS HEO CRIM. REGNIZG THAT NO ONE WOULD MISS HIS YOUTHFUL DOWN-AND-OUT TARGETS, AND THAT HOMOSEXUAL MEN PARTICULAR WOULD BE APT TO STAY SILENT OUT OF FEAR OF PUBLIC REPRISALS FOR THEIR SEXUAL ORIENTATN, NILSEN LIBERATELY WENT AFTER SOCIETY’S MOST HELPLS AND MARGALIZED, AND HIS ABILY TO REMA UNTECTED FOR AS LONG AS HE DID IS A POWERFUL DICTMENT OF THE CLIMATE OF THE ERA. “NILSEN LIBERATELY WENT AFTER SOCIETY’S MOST HELPLS AND MARGALIZED, AND HIS ABILY TO REMA UNTECTED FOR AS LONG AS HE DID IS A POWERFUL DICTMENT OF THE CLIMATE OF THE ERA.” DIRECTOR HARTE SKIMS OVER SOME OF THE NUTS AND BOLTS OF NILSEN’S SAGA, AND HE MOSTLY KEEPS NILSEN’S FACE OFF-SCREEN DURG MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP. THANKFULLY, THE LONGER HIS DOCUMENTARY PROCEEDS, THE LS ONE ALSO HAS TO HEAR OM THE KILLER. COMPRISED OF THE UAL ARRAY OF ARCHIVAL TV NEWS BROADSTS, TEXTUAL GRAPHICS, IMAG OF D TAP, AND TALKG-HEAD TERVIEWS—WHICH ARE NDUCTED DIMLY-L ROOMS WHERE THE PAT IS OFTEN PEELG OFF THE WALL, FOR CREEPY ATMOSPHERIC EFFECT—THE FILM ISN’T TERTED BREAKG NEW FORMAL GROUND. STILL, AS WH SO MANY OF S STREAMG-SERVICE TE-CRIME BRETHREN, S NVENTNAL ATHETIC APPROACH ALLOWS TO ACHIEVE S FUNCTNAL ENDS.BETTER IS THAT DIRECTOR HARTE GIV VOICE TO THOSE WHO WERE VICTIMIZED, BOTH DIRECTLY BY NILSEN AND DIRECTLY BY A BRISH CULTURE THAT TOLD THEM THEY HAD NO WORTH, THAT THEY SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THEIR HERENT NATURE, AND THAT THEY EHER WEREN’T VICTIMS AT ALL OR GOT WHAT THEY SERVED. IN THOSE PASSAG, MEMORI OF A MURRER: THE NILSEN TAP BE A PORTRA OF AN EVIL DIVIDUAL AND A CRIQUE OF THE LARGER ENVIRONMENT THAT ALLOWED HIM TO FLOURISH. NICK SCHAGER

In that same time ame, a close iend was gay-bashed to unnscns by a gang of young men, g a days-long stay the hospal, and I was punched so hard the stomach outsi a gay dance club I thought the guy mt have ed a hammer.

Several years later, on a sunny day on Christopher Street (then the center of New York’s gay life), a man g an anti-gay ephet smashed my bt iend the head wh a rock.

SERIAL KILLER DOCERI 'LAST CALL' RECKONS WH NYC'S HISTORY OF ANTI-GAY VLENCE

”Meanwhile, the officer did story at the re of Last Call ptur a time the cy, and the liv of gay men, that seem far removed om the current one. Back that benighted era, gay bars were often “the one refuge om the perils of everyday life”, said Green.

At the same time, was a particular type of gay man equentg a specific kd of bar, who tend to be the victim this se.

QUEER CRIME: HOW HOMOPHOBIA HELPED 4 GAY SERIAL KILLERS CONTUE TO KILL

As to why he elud jtice the s, Green said, “most likely the jury believed that this was a gay man attackg another gay man and they didn’t re about the circumstanc. Given a chance to acqu, they took ” the same time, Green said that he “ultimately realized that the killer (who was himself gay) was laborg unr the same societal nstrats his victims were.

While Green believed homophobia played a major part that, he also said “cisns that law enforcement ma ntributed to the long lay. "Bmeister was believed to have erced young men Indianapolis gay bars to return to his Wtfield hoe before killg them. "When you look at the middle '80s to middle '90s, fay members didn't know maybe that their relative was gay.