I Want to Drs Gayer — But Not, Like, Too Gay

*EN.BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* A GAY DRESS

saved ntaed in</tle><sc>An empty outled in ditg the optn to save an em</sc><path fill-le="evenodd" d="m12 17.408 7 4.4V3.5H5v18.308l7-4.4Zm-5.325 1.323L12 15.384l5.325 3.347V5.23H6.675v13.5Z" clip-le="evenodd"></path></svg>Save Article</button><style data-emotn="css 13tt5c6">{width:160px;text-align:left;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;letter-spacg:0.045rem;font-size:0.70284rem;le-height:1.1;lor:#595959;text-transform:none;}</style></div></div></div></div></hear><style data-emotn="css k008qs">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;}</style><div class="css-k008qs ewisyje0"><style data-emotn="css 7ce51e">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 64rem){{max-width:lc(100vw - (1rem * 2));marg-left:1rem;marg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(-1 * 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{marg-left:to;marg-right:to;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc((100vw - (lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 2 * 1rem)) / -2);}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem) and (max-width: 90rem){{max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / -2) - 1rem);}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 2);max-width:lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem);paddg-left:1rem;paddg-right:1rem;} .e152u5os0{width:100vw;marg-left:lc(lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 + 1rem)) / -2) - lc(2 * 1rem));}[data-has-sponsor] {marg-left:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);marg-right:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem)) / 4);}}</style><div class="standard-ntaer ntent-ntaer article-ntaer css-7ce51e ewisyje3"><style data-emotn="css trzem2">{jtify-self:center;posn:relative;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg-left:-50vw;marg-right:-50vw;width:100vw;left:50%;right:50%;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead css-trzem2 ewisyje6"><style data-emotn="css sm2oir">{height:to;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{marg:to lc(50% - 50vw);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{marg:to;}}</style><div class="ntent-lead-image css-sm2oir e5f9kgu2"><style data-emotn="css eag3eq">{posn:relative;height:to;}</style><div class="css-eag3eq e5f9kgu1"><style data-emotn="css 335qep">{posn:relative;width:100%;height:100%;object-f:ver;vertil-align:top;}</style><img fetchPrry="high" alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-335qep exi4f7p0" /></div><style data-emotn="css 285vyd">{le-height:1;}@media(max-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0;}}</style><figptn class="css-285vyd enfs9c50"><style data-emotn="css 1mcfn5x">{lor:#595959;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;paddg-right:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:0.75rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div><style data-emotn="css woto36">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;posn:relative;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:3.5rem;paddg-right:3.5rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem) and (max-width: 61.25rem){{max-width:45.25rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;}}@media(m-width: 61.25rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem) and (max-width: 100rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;paddg-right:0rem;}} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;}{clear:both;ntent:" ";display:block;font-size:0.7rem;le-height:1.5rem;height:0rem;visibily:hidn;}</style><div class="article-body-ntent article-body standard-body-ntent css-woto36 ewisyje7"><style data-emotn="css qplj0i">{font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;marg-bottom:0.625rem;marg-top:0.625rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:2.25rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.5rem;le-height:1.1;}} b, strong{font-fay:her;font-weight:bold;} em, i{font-fay:her;font-style:alic;}</style><h2 data-no-id="0" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">1. Floral prts<br /><style data-emotn="css 1736von">{--data-embed-display:flex;-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;clear:both;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;marg-bottom:0.9375rem;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;width:100%;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{width:100%;marg:0 to 0.9375rem;}} a span{right:1rem;} img{width:to;height:85vh;} a{display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;posn:var(--posn, relative);} img:not(.ewcw41w1){display:block;width:100%;height:to;-webk-align-self:flex-start;-ms-flex-em-align:flex-start;align-self:flex-start;}</style><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><style data-emotn="css uwraif">{width:100%;display:-webk-le-box;display:-webk-le-flex;display:-ms-le-flexbox;display:le-flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;marg-left:to;marg-right:to;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;}</style><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><style data-emotn="css swqnqv">@media(m-width: 20rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 73.75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}@media(m-width: 90rem){{paddg-left:0rem;}}</style><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><style data-emotn="css 1am3yn9">{paddg-left:0rem;le-height:1;}</style><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><style data-emotn="css aeyldl">{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1.1875rem;le-height:1.6;} strong{font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-weight:bold;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;}</style><p data-no-id="2" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> As a general le, I don't wear anythg that looks like wallpaper om my grandmother's home. The only reason I would wear this is if I were a florist who loved to drs like a plete asshole.</p><p data-no-id="4" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl: </strong>This is a whole lot of look, but I have to say, I at least like the <em>ia</em> of florals on men. Men who aren't me, that is.</p><h2 data-no-id="6" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">2. Belted blazers<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="8" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> I gus this is handy if you ever need to strap yourself to the si of a ship beg pelted by tidal wav and want to look good dog . I don't re if you thk this looks good. There's nothg practil about puttg on my belt <em>above</em> my waist and rtrictg my breathg. Maybe this du wouldn't be so ncerned wh keepg his blazer closed if he put a shirt on. If I wore this out, everyone would jt assume I was <em>super dnk </em>when I got drsed the morng. I probably was; I jt don't need anyone knowg that.</p><p data-no-id="10" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> I thk you're beg a b dramatic, Frank. It's a belt, not a rset. It's not like 's really gog to rtrict your breathg. That said, I hate belted jackets for men. All that waist emphasis feels nspicuoly feme to me. I don't even belt my trench—I jt tie the ends behd my back and wear unbuttoned.</p><p data-no-id="12" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I only tie up my trench at when I'm liverg top-secret envelop to double-agents, which is never. I agree, though. Cchg a blazer like this mak look like a pantsu.</p><h2 data-no-id="14" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">3. High-waisted pleated pants<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="16" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I know lerally one thg about fashn, and that thg is "Fck pleats." I actually don't really have a problem wh the except that they look like they're ma out of thick burlap or somethg that would equally make my whole lower body a rart of flh and hair.</p><p data-no-id="18" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> I spise pleated pants, but ncerns me that you "actually don't really have a problem wh the." The look like the kd of pants Dan Draper will wear when his kids put him a home.</p><p data-no-id="20" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I jt thk the pants say: "I like to work the earth and build thgs wh my hands and then go out for whiskey sours immediately after." They're like bs sual for ranch hands, and I n dig that.</p><p data-no-id="22" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl: </strong>I thk they say: "It's time for a diaper change."</p><h2 data-no-id="24" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">4. Mandals<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="26" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I would probably wear the, hontly. But won't be until I'm 70 and my kids put me a home and the arthris is actg up so bad that I n't tie shoelac anymore. The only person I still talk to is the nurse who to change the sheets every other week and my cribbage buddi, and every morng I wake up and stare at the sandals for a few mut, thkg, <em>The moment I put the sandals on is the moment my day begs and I shuffle about whout purpose.</em> But you know, technilly, I would wear them.</p><p data-no-id="28" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> Grim, Frank. Grim.</p><h2 data-no-id="30" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">5. Tunics<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="32" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>This is a drs wh T-shirt sleev and naked men divg on . I don't unrstand who would wear this regardls of who you are or where you are gog.</p><p data-no-id="34" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> Did you know they actually make drs and skirts for men, Frank? I'm not talkg about drag eher. This is nothg. Also, I feel like there are guys out there who n pull this off, even straight guys. Maybe not this particular prt, but 's pretty much jt a giant T-shirt. Are you tellg me you've never seen straight men New York walkg around even bigger shirts than this (albe wh giant shorts to match)?</p><p data-no-id="36" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>You brg up a lot of valid pots, but I have a sgle unterpot: Look how sad this guy looks right now. He hat this.</p><h2 data-no-id="38" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">6. Jumpsus<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="40" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> All I n thk about right now is a versn of <em>Top Gun</em> that's directed by Andy Warhol. I'd like to thk that movie exists some alternate universe and is the bt thg that uld ever happen to anyone's eyeballs. I still wouldn't wear this though. Not unls I wanted neighborhood watch rollg upon me every five mut bee they got a phone ll.</p><p data-no-id="42" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl: </strong>There is a fe workg man fetish thg gog on wh jumpsus (although I thk that's more of a gay fantasy than a straight one). I actually own two jumpsus of my own. One is an orange jumpsu that I wear when I'm patg and buildg stuff my apartment and the other is a red terrycloth jumpsu wh my ials embroired on the cht and a whe racg stripe down the si. I only wear that one when I'm sick and is wter and I have to go to the doctor. And, y, I do look sane . There's no way around that.</p><h2 data-no-id="44" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">7. Eveng Rob<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="46" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>Are you ser? I want seven of the, one for every night of the week. I wouldn't even need a bed. I uld jt lie down wherever I was as soon as I felt tired and curl up si this giant robe and fall asleep like a ltle kten. This is like a classy Snuggie. It is the bt thg I've ever seen.</p><p data-no-id="48" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> What???!!! I n't believe you are on board wh this. It's a silk robe. Like a men's kimono. Where are you wearg this out? What, you thk you're like a fancy versn "The Du" and this is <em>The Big Lebowski</em>? Maybe if you were French. And rich. And, like, super stylish. Maybe.</p><p data-no-id="50" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>Oh, wa. You're supposed to wear this outsi? Yeah, I take back. I mean, I own and wear a <style data-emotn="css umdwtv">{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:#FF3A30;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;lor:her;-webk-transn:background 0.4s;transn:background 0.4s;background:lear-gradient(#ffffff, #ffffff 50%, #d5dbe3 50%, #d5dbe3);-webk-background-size:100% 200%;background-size:100% 200%;}{lor:#000000;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;-webk-background-posn:100% 100%;background-posn:100% 100%;}</style><a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Forever Lazy" class="body-lk css-umdwtv et3p2gv0">Forever Lazy</a> but you're not gog to see me buyg groceri .</p><h2 data-no-id="52" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">8. Srf Ti<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="54" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> I'd only wear this if I was gog to a party and I wanted everyone there to hate me. I bet when police get lled to a murr scene and fd out the victim got strangled to ath wh his own srf tie, they get really trated, bee that mak the murr spect lerally everyone ever.</p><p data-no-id="56" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> I feel like there is a lot of vlent imagery your rpons to the cloth, Frank. It's a srf. I mean, I hate too, but why are the cloth elicg such a visceral rponse?</p><p data-no-id="58" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I hate what I don't unrstand.</p><h2 data-no-id="60" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">9. Co-ords<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="62" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> "Hey, you know what? I uld wear Mnie Moe's skirt except fashned to 1950s pajamas, and also has shorts so everyone n see my weird kne." That's an example of somethg I would never say.</p><p data-no-id="64" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> Wrong, Frank. Wrong. I'm not lovg the prt (polka dots are too girly for most dus, I thk) and, yeah, that pajama silk is a ltle silly, but I like -ords for guys. It's jt a matchg shirt and pants (or shorts). If this were a solid lor and a nice, sturdy tton or nim, why wouldn't you wear ?</p><p data-no-id="66" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>Bee I'm not a Power Ranger, no. I don't have to nsistently and uniformly drs a sgle lor.</p><p data-no-id="68" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> You know you don't have to tra all your other cloth to own a matchg top and bottom, right? You n wear other cloth. Oh my god! Is this how the straight male md works? You see somethg and thk, <em>Can I wear that every day for the rt of my life?</em> and if the answer is no you won't buy ?</p><p data-no-id="70" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>It's pretty much, <em>Do this go wh everythg I own?</em> and if the answer is y, then 's a purchase. I've pretty much signed my whole wardrobe such a way that I uld get drsed plete darkns and still be OK.</p><p data-no-id="72" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> You sure about that, Frank?</p><h2 data-no-id="74" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">10. Psychelic Prts<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="76" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> If my life lerally pend on me wearg some part of this outf, I'm not sure what I would choose. The steampunk douchebag goggl are right out. The bathg su of the future is pretty terrible too. I'm pretty sure the graphic on the hoodie is a terpillar that's really sperate for attentn.</p><p data-no-id="78" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> In general, I thk men look bt simple, graphic prts like strip, plaids, etc., but I have no problem wh this sweatshirt. It's really jt like a graphic T-shirt, but 's a hoodie and sts a ln dollars. Are you tellg me you wouldn't wear a graphic T-shirt?</p><p data-no-id="80" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>My problem isn't the graphic, my problem is that the graphic is sayg, "Please e talk to me. Look how loud and fun I am." I n get that same msage across by beg obnox person. I don't need my cloth to do for me.</p><p data-no-id="82" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> Oh, Frank!</p><h2 data-no-id="84" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">11. Mankets<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="86" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> You n't fool me, "mankets." This is a shawl. Unls I get <em>Freaky Friday</em>'d wh prent-day Jamie Lee Curtis, there's no way I'm puttg this thg on.</p><p data-no-id="88" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> I thk this particular one is more of an afghan than a shawl, but, yeah, I tch your drift. That said, I thk a big blanket srf uld be kd of ol on the right guy. If he was dog a whole gged, Amerina thg wh, like, boots and selvage nim and a tweed jacket. Especially if the manket qutn was woven. Maybe a plaid. Like he's some big mounta man who is beg utilarian by g his blanket as a srf.</p><p data-no-id="90" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>A real mounta man would wear his beard as a srf.</p><h2 data-no-id="92" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">12. Shy Fabrics<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="94" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> "Hi, I'm a time traveler om the future. In my time, the sun has died so we get our light source om our lumcent pants." If you n bld anyone who pots a flashlight at you, you shouldn't wear . That's never a le I thought I would have to have about pants, but there you go.</p><p data-no-id="96" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> I feel like I uld maybe, possibly get on board if this were a jacket, but not really even then. I've jt never been attracted to a man who sparkled.</p><h2 data-no-id="98" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">13. Fur<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="100" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> It's the Kg of All Asshol! I don't even know what's happeng here. There are so many patterns, 's like lookg at an optil illn. Maybe this guy is drsed like this so he n walk up to people and steal their wallets while their ey implo. That's why that at is so bulky: It's full of wallets. I wouldn't wear this bee looks so bulky that if I were wearg , I wouldn't be able to do manly thgs like box or chop wood or move my arms.</p><p data-no-id="102" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> I love fur. But really only for women. Small amounts for men, sometim, on a llar or an accsory, but never for a full at. Shearlg is good for men, but a full fur jt feels gangster to me, and not a good way. It mak me thk of pimps and vlence agast women. I don't thk I would tst a man a full fur at.</p><h2 data-no-id="104" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">14. Luxury Tote Bags<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="106" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THIS IS A PURSE. THIS ISN'T EVEN A MAN-PURSE. IT'S A PURSE. NOPE.</p><p data-no-id="108" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> Calm down, grandpa. It's jt a bag. And a pretty simple one at that. I'm not a big fan of man tot general, and rryg one like that is pletely affected, but 's not <em>that</em> bad.</p><p data-no-id="110" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I would wear rgo shorts before I rried this around. Come at me.</p><p data-no-id="112" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl: </strong>You would wear rgo shorts anyway. Nice sho, by the way.</p><p data-no-id="114" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>You will never see me rgo shorts bee I don't f to any of my middle school cloth anymore. I rry my wallet, my keys, and my cell phone. It's not like I need an extra pocket for my Tamagotchi. What I'm tryg to say is, if I uld fd my Tamagotchi, I'd might nsir g this purse.</p><h2 data-no-id="116" class="css-qplj0i et3p2gv0">15. Short Shorts<br /><div size="medium" data-embed="body-image" class="align-center size-medium embed css-1736von e1xqj1sx4"><div class="css-uwraif e1xqj1sx3"><img alt="this image is not available" tle="this image is not available" loadg="lazy" width="1080" height="1080" dg="async" data-nimg="1" style="lor: transparent; width: 100%; height: to;" siz="100vw" srcSet=" 640w, 980w, 1120w, 1200w, 1920w" src="" class="css-0 exi4f7p0" /><div class="css-swqnqv e1xqj1sx2"><figptn class="css-1am3yn9 enfs9c50"><span class="css-1mcfn5x e6iqd2">Media Platforms Dign Team</span></figptn></div></div></div></h2><p data-no-id="118" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank:</strong> I'd never wear the, personally, but the are the ultimate "I don't re" pants. It's jt like, "Screw . It's summer. My legs need to be out. I'm jt gog to throw all my stuff this weird bag and h the beach." I get you, Guy Who Decid to Drs Like a Handkerchief.</p><p data-no-id="120" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Charl:</strong> Agreed. I don't like <em>this</em> guy short shorts, but if you have the legs for , I say show them off. I thk most guys shy away om shorter shorts bee they spend all their gym time workg on their upper bodi and they've got scrawny ltle shrimp legs. On the right guy, though, shorter shorts are sexy.</p><p data-no-id="122" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><strong>Frank: </strong>I'm glad that out of everythg here, was short shorts that uned .</p><p data-no-id="124" class="css-aeyldl et3p2gv0"><span><em>Origally published by <a href=" target="_blank" data-vars-ga-outbound-lk=" data-vars-ga-ux-element="Hyperlk" data-vars-ga-ll-to-actn="Cosmopolan" class="body-lk css-umdwtv et3p2gv0">Cosmopolan</a></em></span></p><style data-emotn="css 2ok9l4">{marg-top:1.875rem;borr-top:th solid #595959;}</style><div data-jam-id="thor-b" class="css-2ok9l4 e13rjwo40"><style data-emotn="css f0b5z8">{display:grid;grid-template-lumns:to 1;grid-lumn-gap:0.625rem;paddg-top:1.25rem;paddg-bottom:1.25rem;clear:both;}</style><div class="css-f0b5z8 e19xk9rq8"><style data-emotn="css irehmq">{borr-radi:50%;height:60px;width:60px;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{width:40px;height:40px;}}</style><span class="css-irehmq e19xk9rq1"><style data-emotn="css o0wq4v">{width:100%;height:100%;borr-radi:50%;vertil-align:middle;object-f:ver;}</style><img src="" alt="Headshot of Charl Manng" tle="Headshot of Charl Manng" width="100%" height="100%" dg="async" loadg="lazy" class="css-o0wq4v e19xk9rq3" /></span><div><style data-emotn="css 3sqxrq">{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;grid-gap:4px;-webk-align-ems:basele;-webk-box-align:basele;-ms-flex-align:basele;align-ems:basele;-webk-box-flex-wrap:wrap;-webk-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;}</style><div class="css-3sqxrq e19xk9rq7"><span class="css-0 e19xk9rq5"><style data-emotn="css 1yunoig">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><style data-emotn="css 1kgdfad">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;text-transform:upperse;lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-lor:her;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-transform:upperse;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;-webk-transn:all 0.3s ease--out;transn:all 0.3s ease--out;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}{lor:#595959;text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><a href="/thor/1228/charl-manng/" class="e1c1bym13 css-1kgdfad e1c1bym14"><span>Charl Manng</span></a></span></div><style data-emotn="css pqlu">{lor:#161616;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;letter-spacg:0.02rem;marg-top:0.625rem;text-transform:upperse;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.4;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{font-size:0.70003rem;le-height:1.3;}}</style><div class="css-pqlu e19xk9rq6">Style Director</div><style data-emotn="css 8u8x58">{display:-webk-box;font-fay:Charter,Geia,Tim,Serif;font-size:1rem;le-height:1.4;overflow:hidn;paddg-top:0.3125rem;-webk-box-orient:vertil;-webk-le-clamp:5;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{-webk-le-clamp:10;}}>*{display:le;} em{font-style:alic;font-fay:CharterItalic,Geia,Tim,Serif;} p{marg:0rem;} p a{-webk-text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn:unrle;text-ratn-thickns:0.0625rem;text-ratn-lor:her;text-unrle-offset:0.25rem;} p a:hover{text-ratn-lor:borr-lk-body-hover;}</style><div class="css-8u8x58 e19xk9rq4"><p>I'm 30 percent bunni, 40 percent of the time.</p></div></div></div></div><style data-emotn="css ciejky">{clear:both;marg-top:1.25rem;}</style><div id="journey-le" class="css-ciejky e1cslvxz0"></div><style data-emotn="css 79elbk">{posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-79elbk eg8z2o90"><div class="css-79elbk e1tp40ll1"><div data-anchor-id="P0-0" class="css-0 e1tp40ll0"></div></div><style data-emotn="css hi6ssp">{display:block;grid-area:article_body;grid-lumn:article_body-start/article_body-end;grid-row:to;jtify-self:center;marg:1.25rem 0 0;}@media prt{{display:none;}}@media(max-width: 30rem){{width:100%;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{m-height:28rem;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{width:488px;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{width:612px;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{max-width:40.25rem;}}</style><div class="css-hi6ssp eg8z2o92"></div></div></div></div><div></div><style data-emotn="css 6b9rfj">{display:block;-webk-flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-ms-flex-preferred-size:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);flex-basis:lc((100vw - lc(20.625rem * 2 - 1rem) - 1rem - 20.625rem) / 2);-webk-box-flex:0;-webk-flex-grow:0;-ms-flex-posive:0;flex-grow:0;-webk-flex-shrk:0;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrk:0;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="no-prt css-6b9rfj ewisyje1"><div><style data-emotn="css 1tuodqg">{width:330px;paddg-left:30px;}</style><div id="ad-article-rail-flt-wrapper" class="vertil-ad css-1tuodqg eqm02p30"><style data-emotn="css w0cuw4">{display:block;posn:-webk-sticky;posn:sticky;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:none;}}</style><div class="vertilAdSticky css-w0cuw4 eqm02p32"><style data-emotn="css 9fasmy">{m-height:523px;top:5rem;}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webk-flex-directn:lumn;-ms-flex-directn:lumn;flex-directn:lumn;-webk-box-pack:jtify;-webk-jtify-ntent:space-between;jtify-ntent:space-between;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{m-height:138px;}}@media(max-width: 61.25rem){{ntent:"";display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;borr-bottom:th solid #E8E8E8;}}</style><div class="standard-article-vertil-ad css-9fasmy eqm02p31"><style data-emotn="css 14b96eg">{m-width:18.75rem;text-align:center;}</style><div id="gpt-ad-vertil-top" class="ad-ntaer css-14b96eg e1hka4w80"></div></div></div></div></div></div></div><div data-teractive="WatchNext-1" class="css-0 e10xr3vp6"><style data-emotn="css 1pqv15d">{marg-bottom:1.875rem;marg-top:1.875rem;paddg:0 0.938rem;}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{paddg:0 2.5rem;}}</style><div data-embed="watch-next" class="css-1pqv15d e10xr3vp5"><style data-emotn="css 604vx7">{text-align:center;marg:0 to;max-width:60rem;borr-top:0.125rem solid #15263D;}</style><div class="css-604vx7 e10xr3vp4"><style data-emotn="css 1sowyjy">{marg-bottom:1.25rem;}</style><div class="css-1sowyjy e10xr3vp3"><style data-emotn="css ju94x7">{marg:0rem;font-weight:normal;background-lor:#ffffff;lor:#000;borr:0.125rem solid #15263D;text-align:left;width:-webk-f-ntent;width:-moz-f-ntent;width:f-ntent;borr-radi:2rem;display:block;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:0.70028rem;le-height:1.2;letter-spacg:0.04rem;marg-top:-1rem;paddg:0.5rem 0.9375rem 0.25rem;text-transform:upperse;}</style><h6 class="css-ju94x7 e10xr3vp2"><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p0"></span><span class="css-0 e10xr3vp1">Watch Next</span><span aria-hidn="te" class="css-0 eagam8p1"></span></h6><style data-emotn="css un61">{-webk-align-ems:center;-webk-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-ems:center;display:-webk-box;display:-webk-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;font-fay:Lsanne,Lsanne-fallback,Arial,sans-serif;font-weight:normal;-webk-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webk-jtify-ntent:center;jtify-ntent:center;marg:0rem;m-height:to;paddg-top:1rem;text-align:left;}@media(max-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.5rem;le-height:1.1;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{font-size:1.875rem;le-height:1.3;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{font-size:2.125rem;le-height:1.2;}}</style><h6 class="css-un61 e10xr3vp0"> </h6></div><style data-emotn="css b3y6x">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;--aspect-rat:56.25%;} {posn:absolute;marg:0rem;}{ntent:"";display:block;height:0rem;width:100%;}@media(max-width: 30rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.16) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 30rem) and (max-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((45% / 1.43) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem) and (max-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((33% / 1.40) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.36) + 20px + 1.66em);}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{paddg-bottom:lc((25% / 1.46) + 20px + 1.66em);}}</style><div class="__rp-ntaer css-b3y6x e6l0f0"><style data-emotn="css 1yu8e3d">{marg-bottom:0.9375rem;width:100%;height:100%;} .__rp-ntaer{height:to;}</style><div data-embed="embed-vio" class="vio-player css-1yu8e3d e1ou1fny0"><style data-emotn="css 1uds6oo">{height:100%;width:100%;posn:relative;}</style><div class="css-1uds6oo e1f7ylgd6"><style data-emotn="css w2pm9t">{background-lor:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.4);borr:.1875rem solid whe;borr-radi:50%;lor:#fff;cursor:poter;height:3.75rem;left:50%;posn:absolute;-webk-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-moz-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-ms-transform:translate(-50%,-50%);transform:translate(-50%,-50%);-webk-transn:all 0.4s;transn:all 0.4s;width:3.75rem;z-x:1;}.e1f7ylgd6:hover {background-lor:rgba(33, 150, 245, 0.8);lor:#ffffff;}@media(m-width: 20rem){{top:26%;}}@media(m-width: 30rem){{top:29.5%;}}@media(m-width: 40.625rem){{top:32.5%;}}@media(m-width: 48rem){{top:34.5%;height:5.625rem;width:5.625rem;borr:.28125rem solid whe;}}@media(m-width: 64rem){{top:35%;}}@media(m-width: 75rem){{top:35.8%;}}</style><button aria-label="Play Vio" class="css-w2pm9t e1f7ylgd1"><style data-emotn="css 1lhf7lq">{fill:#ffffff;height:1.4rem;vertil-align:middle;width:1.45rem;}@media(m-width: 48rem){{width:2.3125rem;height:3rem;}}</style><svg xmlns=" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" style="fill: var(--primary, #000);" role="img" tle="Play" class="css-1lhf7lq e1f7ylgd2"><tle>play in .